Readers, the Sashes have been passed.
We are exceedingly pleased to announce our new roster of Dumb Runner brand ambassadors—i.e., #Dumbassadors—whose six-week tenures begin... now. This means that for the next month and a half these six individuals have the privilege of serving us as unpaid marketers, promoting our brand for free. In part by wearing a large satin Sash.
What an honor!
In no particular order, here are are new #Dumbassadors. (You can learn about our inaugural class here.)
Home: Lake Dallas, Texas
Years running: 8 ("Including a couple of lazy years which really shouldn't count.")
Running career highlight(s): "A 50k, a sub-2:00 half marathon, and a 5:55 mile. Half-marathon number 14 is coming up this week!"
What do you do when you aren't running? "I read, I drink whiskey (or whisky), I care for my two little boys, and I engage in shenanigans with the Idiots Running Club."
Do you think Mark is awesome? Or VERY awesome? "YES!"
What does Dumb Runner mean to you? "Dumb Runner represents the heart of running, which is... wait for it... running. Whether you run to lose weight, to decompress, or to become faster, you still go out and run (or walk) (or jog) for miles and hours at a time, and if we're honest with ourselves, that's pretty dumb."
Home: Springfield, VA, but currently in Richmond, VA
Occupation: Shipping manager at a sex shop
Years running: "Five as an adult, but I also ran three years of cross country in high school."
Running career highlight(s): "4x marathon, 15x half-marathon."
What do you do when you aren't running? "Yoga, napping, eating, working for public radio, hanging out with my snake (not a euphemism)."
Do you think Mark is awesome? Or VERY awesome? "VERY (I've met him in person, he's for real awesome)."
What does Dumb Runner mean to you? "I love the fact that it's a community-supported organization. And being a part of Dumb Runner is apt for me—I'm often not intelligent when it comes to my training! It's good to be able to have a lighthearted approach to our sport, as well as other news in the weekly email."
Home: Athens, Georgia
Occupation: Administrator at a university
Years running: "About 15? I started running to try to get in better shape at the end of my freshman year of high school (2003), and I would run seasonally (i.e. only in nice conditions) and when the spirit moved me until late in college, when I finally got better gear and a friend and roommate who got me out the door. I ran my first 10K in fall 2010, thanks to my husband, and was hooked. I've been running races from 3K to marathon distance ever since."
Running career highlight(s): "Winning a tiny local 5K in 2014 and receiving an invisible trophy (okay, not really—it just looked that way in photos); earning my first BQ in September 2016."
What do you do when you aren't running? "I write, both fiction and nonfiction, including the quarterly newsletter for my local running club; read; travel; snuggle with my pet cat and rabbit (not at the same time); play board games; do other outdoor activities like hiking; and spend time with friends, family, and my husband. And talk about running. A lot."
Do you think Mark is awesome? Or VERY awesome? "Super DUPER awesome."
What does Dumb Runner mean to you? "The tagline on my running blog is 'It seemed like a good idea at the time.' I think that about sums it up."
Home: Wasola, Missouri
Occupation: Utility Contractor
Years running: 11
Running career highlight(s): "Five times sub-24:00 100-miler. Missouri state record for age group at 50-mile distance. Sub-3:00 marathons. Won a few of the greater downtown ladies auxiliary club pie auction 5Ks. Blah, blah, blah.... Biggest highlight has been starting a dumb little club with a bunch of Idiots."
What do you do when you aren't running? "I am head coach of the Arkansas Tornados semi-pro football team, head ultra running coach for PrsFit, and president of the Ozark Football Association for youth tackle; also I coach youth football, baseball, basketball, and soccer. Drink beer. Herd Idiots. Post nonsense on Facebook."
Do you think Mark is awesome? Or VERY awesome? "Sometimes Mark is awesome. Sometimes he is very awesome. Sometimes I try to pretend like I don't know who Mark is."
What does Dumb Runner mean to you? "Dumb Runner has redefined the recreational sport of running by letting people know that recreational running is dumb."
Home: Salt Lake City
Years running: 8
Running career highlight(s): "2010 Layton Marathon, 4:01!"
What do you do when you aren't running? "Work, play with kid, read stories to kid, work on the damn chicken coop (eggs are now running about $5 an egg)."
Do you think Mark is awesome? Or VERY awesome? "Unbelievably awesome."
What does Dumb Runner mean to you? "Just run already, let's not make this more complicated than it is. If you don't like it don't do it."
Home: Dundee, Oregon
Occupation: Writer and full-time parent
Years running: 5
Running career highlight(s): "I’m not a typical runner—I have degenerative disk disease in my back, which limits both my mileage and my speed. Running helps keep my legs and core strong, which in turn supports my back and reduces pain. I’ve completed a half-marathon and many shorter races, but my biggest accomplishment is getting out the door two or three times a week in the Oregon cloudshine and getting it done."
What do you do when you aren't running? "I’m an indie author! I write children’s books and horror stories (mostly not at the same time), and created my own publishing company this year. Right this minute, I’m also doing a voice-acting gig as a werewolf, which probably has the neighbors worried. I like expensive bourbon and sensible cars, but not at the same time. My superpower is finding all the lost things—shoes, stuffed Pokémon, keys, teeny tiny plastic toys—I will find them all!"
Do you think Mark is awesome? Or VERY awesome? "I’m pretty sure Mark is Very Awesome. Please don’t read anything into my nonstandard capitalization, because I assure you it means exactly what you think it does."
What does Dumb Runner mean to you? "I decided to support Dumb Runner about six months ago based on the quality of the laughs in Mark’s articles alone. As I became part of the Dumb Runner community, I found the other supporters to be kind, fascinatingly multi-dimensional (it’s not “all running, all the time” with these folks), and hilariously funny. It’s good to find your tribe. I’m proud to be a #Dumbassador for such a fine website and great community of people."
Congratulations, #Dumbassadors. Represent us with pride.
Would you like a chance to wear the #Dumbassador Sash? Click here to submit an application.