Ask Dr. Dumb: Is Organizing a Marathon ‘Not That Much of a Challenge’?
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Readers, in today’s anxiety-ridden, topsy-turvy world, few things are more welcome than a good laugh. Usually, these come from the predictable sources—comedians, film and TV, reader-supported humor websites—but sometimes you find a thigh-slapper where you least expect it.
For example, in a letter to the editor in a Scottish newspaper called The National.
That’s where I stumbled across a note from a gentleman named Alan Magnus-Bennett, headlined, “Organising a marathon is not that much of a challenge.” It started like this:
I was surprised to read in The National that the Commonwealth Games organisers have dropped the marathon event, apparently to “reduce operational complexity, ensure significant savings in transport and security costs and minimise the disruption for the general public by avoiding road closures”.
What a load of baloney!
Mr. Magnus-Bennett, a former half-marathoner, goes on to recall that “back in the day” he organized a road race for one of his village’s annual celebrations, and it was a piece of cake. “No complexity,” he wrote.
Now that’s funny!
To further explore this subject, I contacted our go-to expert on event organizing and unintentional hilarity, Dr. Dumb.
Dumb Runner: Hello, doctor, and thanks for joining us.
Dr. Dumb: Tha mi toilichte a bhith an seo.
Beg pardon?
That’s Scottish Gaellic for “I’m happy to be here.”
I’ll take your word for it. So, for the record: Is organizing a marathon “not that much of a challenge”?
I think the best way to answer that is to ask an actual marathon race director. Or, better yet, find an actual marathon race director, tell them, to their face, “Organizing a marathon is not that much of a challenge,” and see how they react.
Do you really recommend our readers do that?
Oh my God, no. Unless they’re behind a thick sheet of Plexiglas or wearing one of those attack-dog-training suits. Or both.
Are you suggesting that organizing a marathon, like many things in life, is way more complex than the average layperson could possibly understand?
I am.
Interesting. Going back to Mr. Magnus-Bennett: In his letter, he acknowledged, briefly, that his village road race was “of a different calibre” to an elite marathon with an international field in a major European capital that is part of a huge quadrennial sporting event. In your expert opinion, is the phrase “of a different calibre” doing an awful lot of work there?
It is.
Do you think Mr. Magnus-Bennett was literally sitting in an armchair when he wrote this letter?
We can’t be sure, but I think the odds are good, yes.
On a related note, closer to home: I was at the dog park Friday, and overheard two fellow dog owners chatting about the Hood to Coast relay race, which was just about to kick off.
Oh yeah?
Yes. And they were saying how rough the runners would have it, since the region is experiencing a days-long heat wave, with high temperatures topping 100.
Brutal.
For sure, and one of them said that “they” should have just postponed the race till next weekend. Because, you know, how hard could it be?
Was one of these dog owners Alan Magnus-Bennett?
I don’t believe so.
Well, it just goes to show you, people everywhere are dumb.
Not us, though.
Obviously.
Well, thank you, Dr. Dumb. We’ll see you next time.
You’re welcome. Seall mo chèileag!
