Local Runner Excited for That Weather Where You Can Still Wear Shorts But You Need a Long-Sleeved Shirt and Maybe Gloves But Just Thin Ones
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First 18 Models of Running Shoe Were Garbage, Implies Review of 19th Version
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Shoe has “a good ride,” reviewer notes.
Read MoreTracksmith Meeting Descends Into Chaos When Designer Floats Idea of Double-Striped Singlet
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“Who the hell do you think you are?” coworker screams.
Read MoreSmartwatch Tracks Runner’s Heart Breaking in Real Time
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Man saves data for later analysis.
Read MoreWestern States Finisher Starting to Think No One Will Ever Ask About His Belt Buckle
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Local runner wonders whether it was all worth it.
Read MoreComments on Runner’s Shoe Review Video Almost Entirely Decorating Tips
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“Get some plants,” one viewer suggests. “Something.”
Read MoreLocal Runner Honors Memories of Fallen U.S. Military Personnel by Stocking Up on Energy Chews
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“Sweet,” says man. “That’s a good price.”
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Garmin Enters Running Shoe Market, Because, Fuck It, Why Not?
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Early reviews say debut model has “a great ride.”
Read MoreNike Executive Psychs Self Up for Big Shoelace Presentation
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“You got this,” man tells self in restroom mirror.
Read MoreGuy With $600 Watch Still Manages to Be 10 Minutes Late for Everything
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Device apparently lacks feature that tells wearer “what time it is,” friends say.
Read More‘Do You Need a Massage Gun?’ Asks Website That Makes Money Every Time Someone Buys a Massage Gun
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Author concludes readers should purchase product.
Read MoreLocal Runner Wishes He Had a Helmet So He Could Do That Cool Thing That Cyclists Do With Their Sunglasses
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Resting eyewear on top of his head “just not the same,” says man.
Read MoreMetaphor for Life’s Grim Futility Has Handy Little Place to Keep Water Bottle
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Modern convenience a nice touch on machine designed for punishment.
Read More2022 Boston Marathon Jacket Pays Homage to B.A.A. Unicorn
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Reaction to unusual design is mixed.
Read MoreNike Says All Its Running Shoes Will Be Electric by 2025
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Other brands expected to follow suit.
Read MoreNew Headlamp Powerful, But Can’t Illuminate Running Partner’s Mysterious Past
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Speculation about local runner’s past abounds.
Read MorePsychopath Runner Owns One Pair of Running Shoes
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Officials urge everyone to give lunatic “a wide berth.”
Read MoreLocal Woman Discovers ‘Massager’ Really Is Massager
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Recently purchased product fails to meet consumer’s needs.
Read MoreRunning Store Customer Checking Out Alphafly NEXT% Visibly Aroused
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