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September 28, 2022

Local Runner Excited for That Weather Where You Can Still Wear Shorts But You Need a Long-Sleeved Shirt and Maybe Gloves But Just Thin Ones

September 28, 2022/ Mark Remy
Local Runner Excited for That Weather Where You Can Still Wear Shorts But You Need a Long-Sleeved Shirt and Maybe Gloves But Just Thin Ones

And where the shirt is warm but not too warm.

Read More
September 28, 2022/ Mark Remy/
Gear, Satire
Cool weather, Shorts, Gloves
September 14, 2022

First 18 Models of Running Shoe Were Garbage, Implies Review of 19th Version

September 14, 2022/ Mark Remy
First 18 Models of Running Shoe Were Garbage, Implies Review of 19th Version

Shoe has “a good ride,” reviewer notes.

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September 14, 2022/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Gear
Shoes, New gear, Reviews
August 17, 2022

Tracksmith Meeting Descends Into Chaos When Designer Floats Idea of Double-Striped Singlet

August 17, 2022/ Mark Remy
Tracksmith Meeting Descends Into Chaos When Designer Floats Idea of Double-Striped Singlet

“Who the hell do you think you are?” coworker screams.

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August 17, 2022/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Gear
Design, Tracksmith, Meeting, Radical departure, New gear
July 13, 2022

Smartwatch Tracks Runner’s Heart Breaking in Real Time

July 13, 2022/ Mark Remy
Smartwatch Tracks Runner’s Heart Breaking in Real Time

Man saves data for later analysis.

Read More
July 13, 2022/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Gear
Watches, Data, Love, Breakup, Heart
June 27, 2022

Western States Finisher Starting to Think No One Will Ever Ask About His Belt Buckle

June 27, 2022/ Mark Remy
Western States Finisher Starting to Think No One Will Ever Ask About His Belt Buckle

Local runner wonders whether it was all worth it.

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June 27, 2022/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Gear
Western States, Belt buckles, Medals
June 01, 2022

Comments on Runner’s Shoe Review Video Almost Entirely Decorating Tips

June 01, 2022/ Mark Remy
Comments on Runner’s Shoe Review Video Almost Entirely Decorating Tips

“Get some plants,” one viewer suggests. “Something.”

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June 01, 2022/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Gear
Running shoes, Reviews, YouTube, Interior decorating, Sad
May 29, 2022

Local Runner Honors Memories of Fallen U.S. Military Personnel by Stocking Up on Energy Chews

May 29, 2022/ Mark Remy
Local Runner Honors Memories of Fallen U.S. Military Personnel by Stocking Up on Energy Chews

“Sweet,” says man. “That’s a good price.”

Read More
May 29, 2022/ Mark Remy/
Gear
Specialty running stores, Consumerism, Memorial Day, Sale
May 25, 2022

Kipchoge Narrows Medal Rack Choices Down to Two

May 25, 2022/ Mark Remy
Kipchoge Narrows Medal Rack Choices Down to Two

Marathon champ struggles to decide.

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May 25, 2022/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Gear
Eliud Kipchoge, Marat, Medals, Etsy, Hard decisions
May 18, 2022

Garmin Enters Running Shoe Market, Because, Fuck It, Why Not?

May 18, 2022/ Mark Remy
Garmin Enters Running Shoe Market, Because, Fuck It, Why Not?

Early reviews say debut model has “a great ride.”

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May 18, 2022/ Mark Remy/
May 11, 2022

Nike Executive Psychs Self Up for Big Shoelace Presentation

May 11, 2022/ Mark Remy
Nike Executive Psychs Self Up for Big Shoelace Presentation

“You got this,” man tells self in restroom mirror.

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May 11, 2022/ Mark Remy/
Gear, Satire
Shoelaces, Presentation, Nike, Pep talk, Restroom, Mirror, Corporate America
April 27, 2022

Guy With $600 Watch Still Manages to Be 10 Minutes Late for Everything

April 27, 2022/ Mark Remy
Guy With $600 Watch Still Manages to Be 10 Minutes Late for Everything

Device apparently lacks feature that tells wearer “what time it is,” friends say.

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April 27, 2022/ Mark Remy/
March 14, 2022

‘Do You Need a Massage Gun?’ Asks Website That Makes Money Every Time Someone Buys a Massage Gun

March 14, 2022/ Mark Remy
‘Do You Need a Massage Gun?’ Asks Website That Makes Money Every Time Someone Buys a Massage Gun

Author concludes readers should purchase product.

Read More
March 14, 2022/ Mark Remy/
Gear, Satire
Running gear, Recovery, Massager, Editorial integrity, Media, Ethics, Shopping
February 21, 2022

Local Runner Wishes He Had a Helmet So He Could Do That Cool Thing That Cyclists Do With Their Sunglasses

February 21, 2022/ Mark Remy
Local Runner Wishes He Had a Helmet So He Could Do That Cool Thing That Cyclists Do With Their Sunglasses

Resting eyewear on top of his head “just not the same,” says man.

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February 21, 2022/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Gear
Helmets, Eyewear, Sunglasses, Envy
February 07, 2022

Metaphor for Life’s Grim Futility Has Handy Little Place to Keep Water Bottle

February 07, 2022/ Mark Remy
Metaphor for Life’s Grim Futility Has Handy Little Place to Keep Water Bottle

Modern convenience a nice touch on machine designed for punishment.

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February 07, 2022/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Gear
Treadmill, Life's grim futility, Slake, Hydration, Symbolism
January 19, 2022

2022 Boston Marathon Jacket Pays Homage to B.A.A. Unicorn

January 19, 2022/ Mark Remy
2022 Boston Marathon Jacket Pays Homage to B.A.A. Unicorn

Reaction to unusual design is mixed.

Read More
January 19, 2022/ Mark Remy/
Gear, Satire
Boston Marathon, Adidas, Jackets, Unicorn horn
January 05, 2022

Nike Says All Its Running Shoes Will Be Electric by 2025

January 05, 2022/ Mark Remy
Nike Says All Its Running Shoes Will Be Electric by 2025

Other brands expected to follow suit.

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January 05, 2022/ Mark Remy/
Gear, Satire
Shoes, Running shoes, Nike, Electric, Climate change, Technology run amok
October 20, 2021

New Headlamp Powerful, But Can’t Illuminate Running Partner’s Mysterious Past

October 20, 2021/ Mark Remy
New Headlamp Powerful, But Can’t Illuminate Running Partner’s Mysterious Past

Speculation about local runner’s past abounds.

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October 20, 2021/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Gear
Headlamps, Lights, Illunination, Mysterious pasts, Running partner, Running in the dark, Nighttime running
October 18, 2021

Psychopath Runner Owns One Pair of Running Shoes

October 18, 2021/ Mark Remy
Psychopath Runner Owns One Pair of Running Shoes

Officials urge everyone to give lunatic “a wide berth.”

Read More
October 18, 2021/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Gear
Psychosis, Running shoes, Shopping
September 27, 2021

Local Woman Discovers ‘Massager’ Really Is Massager

September 27, 2021/ Mark Remy
Local Woman Discovers ‘Massager’ Really Is Massager

Recently purchased product fails to meet consumer’s needs.

Read More
September 27, 2021/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Gear
Massager, Tools, Disappointment, Sex
September 08, 2021

Running Store Customer Checking Out Alphafly NEXT% Visibly Aroused

September 08, 2021/ Mark Remy
Running Store Customer Checking Out Alphafly NEXT% Visibly Aroused

Man eventually leaves empty-handed.

Read More
September 08, 2021/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Gear
Nike, Shoes, Running shoes, Specialty running stores, Arousal
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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