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March 07, 2025

Dumb Runner Illustrated #124: 'Heaven'

March 07, 2025/ Mark Remy
Dumb Runner Illustrated #124: 'Heaven'

Reunited, and it feels so good.

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March 07, 2025/ Mark Remy/
Gear, Satire
Comics, Heaven, Running shoes, Shoes, Gram-Gram
February 17, 2025

Nike Says It Will Stop Testing Shoes on Animals

February 17, 2025/ Mark Remy
Nike Says It Will Stop Testing Shoes on Animals

Better late than never, say activists.

Read More
February 17, 2025/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Gear
Animal testing, Running shoes, Nike, Activism
April 01, 2024

In Hilarious April Fool's Prank, Running Shoe Makers Pledge to Move Factories From Asia to U.S.

April 01, 2024/ Mark Remy
In Hilarious April Fool's Prank, Running Shoe Makers Pledge to Move Factories From Asia to U.S.

“Ha ha!” says consortium of gear manufacturers.

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April 01, 2024/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Gear
April Fool's Day, Running shoes
March 27, 2024

Consumer Watchdogs Accuse Nike of 'Shrinkflation'

March 27, 2024/ Mark Remy
Consumer Watchdogs Accuse Nike of 'Shrinkflation'

Critics say footwear giant is giving runners less shoe for same price.

Read More
March 27, 2024/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Gear
Prices, Gear, Running shoes, Shrinkflation
December 18, 2023

‘At Least My Shoes Are Super,’ Sad Runner Tells Self

December 18, 2023/ Mark Remy
‘At Least My Shoes Are Super,’ Sad Runner Tells Self

Carbon-plated footwear provides shining light in world of darkness.

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December 18, 2023/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Gear
Running shoes, Super shoes, Depression
November 20, 2023

Breaking: Dad Just Bought a Pair of On Running Shoes

November 20, 2023/ Mark Remy
Breaking: Dad Just Bought a Pair of On Running Shoes

Patriarch thinks footwear looks “sharp.”

Read More
November 20, 2023/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Gear
On, Running shoes, Dads
May 03, 2023

Former Gillette Exec Proposes Running Shoe With 5 Carbon Plates

May 03, 2023/ Mark Remy
Former Gillette Exec Proposes Running Shoe With 5 Carbon Plates

New Nike hire delivers on promise of fresh ideas.

Read More
May 03, 2023/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Gear
Carbon fiber, Technology run amok, Razors, Nike, Running shoes
February 06, 2023

‘Sure, We’ll RECYCLE Your Old Shoes,’ Running Store Employee Assures Customer

February 06, 2023/ Mark Remy
‘Sure, We’ll RECYCLE Your Old Shoes,’ Running Store Employee Assures Customer

Environmentally minded man leaves store feeling virtuous.

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February 06, 2023/ Mark Remy/
Gear, Satire
Running shoes, Recycling, Environment, Landfills
November 23, 2022

Man Who Saves Old Running Shoes for Yard Work and Stuff Has 18 Pairs of Shoes for Yard Work and Stuff

November 23, 2022/ Mark Remy
Man Who Saves Old Running Shoes for Yard Work and Stuff Has 18 Pairs of Shoes for Yard Work and Stuff

Supply exceeds demand.

Read More
November 23, 2022/ Mark Remy/
Gear, Satire
Running shoes, Yard work
November 21, 2022

INSPIRATION ALERT! A Running Store Donated 10 Pairs of Sweet Carbon-Plated Shoes to a Homeless Shelter

November 21, 2022/ Mark Remy
INSPIRATION ALERT! A Running Store Donated 10 Pairs of Sweet Carbon-Plated Shoes to a Homeless Shelter

“Everyone deserves world-class performance and amazing energy return,” says store owner.

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November 21, 2022/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Gear
Carbon fiber, Running shoes, Technology run amok, Homelessness, Charity
June 01, 2022

Comments on Runner’s Shoe Review Video Almost Entirely Decorating Tips

June 01, 2022/ Mark Remy
Comments on Runner’s Shoe Review Video Almost Entirely Decorating Tips

“Get some plants,” one viewer suggests. “Something.”

Read More
June 01, 2022/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Gear
Running shoes, Reviews, YouTube, Interior decorating, Sad
January 05, 2022

Nike Says All Its Running Shoes Will Be Electric by 2025

January 05, 2022/ Mark Remy
Nike Says All Its Running Shoes Will Be Electric by 2025

Other brands expected to follow suit.

Read More
January 05, 2022/ Mark Remy/
Gear, Satire
Shoes, Running shoes, Nike, Electric, Climate change, Technology run amok
October 18, 2021

Psychopath Runner Owns One Pair of Running Shoes

October 18, 2021/ Mark Remy
Psychopath Runner Owns One Pair of Running Shoes

Officials urge everyone to give lunatic “a wide berth.”

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October 18, 2021/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Gear
Psychosis, Running shoes, Shopping
September 08, 2021

Running Store Customer Checking Out Alphafly NEXT% Visibly Aroused

September 08, 2021/ Mark Remy
Running Store Customer Checking Out Alphafly NEXT% Visibly Aroused

Man eventually leaves empty-handed.

Read More
September 08, 2021/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Gear
Nike, Shoes, Running shoes, Specialty running stores, Arousal
May 26, 2021

Study Finds Sole of Alphafly NEXT% Shoe Is ‘All Kinds of F***ed Up’

May 26, 2021/ Mark Remy
Study Finds Sole of Alphafly NEXT% Shoe Is ‘All Kinds of F***ed Up’

Report will appear in The Journal of Weird-Looking Shit.

Read More
May 26, 2021/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Gear
Shoes, Running shoes, New gear, Nike
April 05, 2021

Running Store Employee Still Laughing About Guy Who Came In Looking For Shoes Under $50

April 05, 2021/ Mark Remy
Running Store Employee Still Laughing About Guy Who Came In Looking For Shoes Under $50

Customer leaves without making purchase.

Read More
April 05, 2021/ Mark Remy/
Gear, Satire
Running shoes, Specialty running stores, Running gear, Laughter
September 23, 2020

‘Sure Is Good For Running,’ Writes Shoe Reviewer Who Has Just Stopped Caring

September 23, 2020/ Mark Remy
‘Sure Is Good For Running,’ Writes Shoe Reviewer Who Has Just Stopped Caring

Longtime gear editor “blows a fuse.”

Read More
September 23, 2020/ Mark Remy/
Gear, Satire
Shoes, Running shoes, Reviews, Running gear, Media
March 25, 2020

Shoes Break In New Runner

March 25, 2020/ Mark Remy
Shoes Break In New Runner

For local man, period of adjustment is off to a painful start.

Read More
March 25, 2020/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Gear
New gear, Running shoes, Shoes, Breaking in
December 16, 2019

Running Store Has This One Weird Brand of Shoe You’ve Never Heard of Before

December 16, 2019/ Mark Remy
Running Store Has This One Weird Brand of Shoe You’ve Never Heard of Before

Customers speculate on product’s country of origin.

Read More
December 16, 2019/ Mark Remy/
Gear, Satire
Running shoes, Weird, Specialty running stores, Brands
November 05, 2019

Critics Say New Balance 'DAD/&' Shoe Gives Some Middle-Aged Fathers Unfair Advantage

November 05, 2019/ Mark Remy
Critics Say New Balance 'DAD/&' Shoe Gives Some Middle-Aged Fathers Unfair Advantage

Amp™ technology boosts “dad task” performance—for a price.

Read More
November 05, 2019/ Mark Remy/
Gear, Satire
Running shoes, Nike, New Balance, Dads, White leather
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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