‘Do You Need a Massage Gun?’ Asks Website That Makes Money Every Time Someone Buys a Massage Gun
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Local Runner Wishes He Had a Helmet So He Could Do That Cool Thing That Cyclists Do With Their Sunglasses
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Resting eyewear on top of his head “just not the same,” says man.
Read MoreMetaphor for Life’s Grim Futility Has Handy Little Place to Keep Water Bottle
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Modern convenience a nice touch on machine designed for punishment.
Read More2022 Boston Marathon Jacket Pays Homage to B.A.A. Unicorn
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Reaction to unusual design is mixed.
Read MoreNike Says All Its Running Shoes Will Be Electric by 2025
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Other brands expected to follow suit.
Read MoreNew Headlamp Powerful, But Can’t Illuminate Running Partner’s Mysterious Past
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Speculation about local runner’s past abounds.
Read MorePsychopath Runner Owns One Pair of Running Shoes
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Officials urge everyone to give lunatic “a wide berth.”
Read MoreLocal Woman Discovers ‘Massager’ Really Is Massager
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Recently purchased product fails to meet consumer’s needs.
Read MoreRunning Store Customer Checking Out Alphafly NEXT% Visibly Aroused
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Man eventually leaves empty-handed.
Read MoreIn Latest Tokyo Olympics Scandal, Marathon Runs Out of Size Medium Finisher Shirts
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“We’re all mediums!” complains one runner.
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Study Finds Sole of Alphafly NEXT% Shoe Is ‘All Kinds of F***ed Up’
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Report will appear in The Journal of Weird-Looking Shit.
Read MoreOnline Running Store Actively Tries to Discourage Purchase of Short Shorts
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Automated message gently suggests other options.
Read MoreRunning Store Employee Still Laughing About Guy Who Came In Looking For Shoes Under $50
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Customer leaves without making purchase.
Read MoreOwner of 7 Running Jackets ‘Just Looking’ at Running Jackets
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Local runner notes that garment on screen isn’t technically a running jacket.
Read More'Baby’s First Strava' Aimed at Social-Minded, Data-Loving Infants
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“It’s kudos for kiddos,” says a company spokesman.
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I Found the Best Jogging Stroller Under $200, and I Will Take This Information to My Grave
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This model delivers the most bang for your stroller buck, and I will die before I tell you what it is.
Read MoreLatest Garmin Watch Features Pre-Broken Strap
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Company says innovation will save customers time, anxiety.
Read More‘Sure Is Good For Running,’ Writes Shoe Reviewer Who Has Just Stopped Caring
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