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March 19, 2019

Nuun Rolls Out 'Nuun None' Placebo Tablets

March 19, 2019/ Mark Remy
Nuun Rolls Out 'Nuun None' Placebo Tablets

Company’s latest line “taps into the power of the human mind.”

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March 19, 2019/ Mark Remy/
Nutrition, Satire
Nuun, Hydration, Magic beans, Nutrition
February 27, 2019

Might as Well Finish Pie, Study Finds

February 27, 2019/ Mark Remy
Might as Well Finish Pie, Study Finds

Findings hold true regardless of the size of the last piece.

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February 27, 2019/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Nutrition
Studies, Research, Pie, Nutrition
September 26, 2018

Ask Dr. Dumb: Can Beef Improve My Performance?

September 26, 2018/ Mark Remy
Ask Dr. Dumb: Can Beef Improve My Performance?

Short answer: Yes. Especially if you’re a marathon runner.

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September 26, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Nutrition
Meat, Beef, Ask Dr. Dumb
September 11, 2018

New Diet Plan Calls for Eating Modest Amounts of Variety of Foods

September 11, 2018/ Mark Remy
New Diet Plan Calls for Eating Modest Amounts of Variety of Foods

Experts skeptical that “balanced, common-sense” approach will catch on.

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September 11, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Nutrition, Satire
Diet, Fads, Variety, Healthy
August 29, 2018

Study: Doughnuts Make Breakfast 80% More Delicious

August 29, 2018/ Mark Remy
Study: Doughnuts Make Breakfast 80% More Delicious

Findings are “good news” for fans of tastiness, researcher says.

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August 29, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Real, Nutrition
Doughnuts, Breakfast, Research, Sprinkles
August 20, 2018

Stock Photo Gets It Exactly Backwards

August 20, 2018/ Mark Remy
Stock Photo Gets It Exactly Backwards

Runner is depicted fleeing delicious foods.

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August 20, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Real, Nutrition
Stock photos, Cheeseburgers, Pizza, Cupcakes, Deliciousness
June 19, 2018

'Chocolate Milk Is Nature's Perfect Recovery Drink,' Intones Journalist Just Back From Dairy Industry Luncheon

June 19, 2018/ Mark Remy
'Chocolate Milk Is Nature's Perfect Recovery Drink,' Intones Journalist Just Back From Dairy Industry Luncheon

Woman robotically praises beverage’s 3:1 carb-to-protein ratio and B vitamins.

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June 19, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Nutrition
Chocolate milk, Sports nutrition, Postrace nutrition, Journalism
February 14, 2018

Report: Brownies Also 'Bars' That Provide 'Energy'

February 14, 2018/ Mark Remy
Report: Brownies Also 'Bars' That Provide 'Energy'

National Baked Goods Council touts a treat as ideal for workouts.

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February 14, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Nutrition, Satire
Sports nutrition, Brownies, Energy, Energy bars, Fudgy, Cakelike
November 12, 2017

Mysterious Peddler Offers Trail Runner Magic Beans

November 12, 2017/ Mark Remy
Mysterious Peddler Offers Trail Runner Magic Beans

"Clinically proven to maximize performance," claims wizened stranger. 

Read More
November 12, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Nutrition, Satire
Sports nutrition, Magic beans, Mysterious peddler
July 04, 2017

Betty Crocker Enters Sports Fuel Market With 'Endurance' Frosting

July 04, 2017/ Mark Remy
Betty Crocker Enters Sports Fuel Market With 'Endurance' Frosting

Six flavors designed to keep energy levels high, and to be easily spreadable.

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July 04, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Nutrition
Frosting, Betty Crocker, Energy, Endurance, Carb loading
June 04, 2017

Man Dies of Thirst in Local 5K

June 04, 2017/ Mark Remy
Man Dies of Thirst in Local 5K

Runner went nearly 19 minutes without liquid.

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June 04, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Nutrition
Hydration, 5K, Death, CamelBak
May 23, 2017

7 Photos of Runners Slaking Their Thirst, Just Because We Like the Word 'Slake'

May 23, 2017/ Mark Remy
7 Photos of Runners Slaking Their Thirst, Just Because We Like the Word 'Slake'

Slakers gonna slake. Are we right, guys?

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May 23, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Nutrition
Slake, Hydration, Stock photos
March 06, 2017

'I Love Beet Juice,' Says Total Liar

March 06, 2017/ Mark Remy
'I Love Beet Juice,' Says Total Liar

"It's not bad," he said, fighting the urge to spit the vile liquid across the room.

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March 06, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Nutrition
Beet juice, Lies
February 13, 2017

Man Carb-Loading for 5K Has No Idea Why He's Not Losing Weight

February 13, 2017/ Mark Remy
Man Carb-Loading for 5K Has No Idea Why He's Not Losing Weight

"I don't get it," says newbie training for his first race.

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February 13, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Nutrition, Satire
Carb loading, Pasta, Weight loss, 5K
January 24, 2017

New Gatorade NAZAL Promises 'Instant Rush'

January 24, 2017/ Mark Remy
New Gatorade NAZAL Promises 'Instant Rush'

Energy powder is aimed at on-the-go athletes looking for "an extra bump." 

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January 24, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Nutrition
Snort, Gatorade NAZAL, Sports nutrition
January 10, 2017

Man Takes Break to Fuel Up While Shopping for Fuel

January 10, 2017/ Mark Remy
Man Takes Break to Fuel Up While Shopping for Fuel

"You gotta stay fueled up," he says. "Just like a race car, you know? 

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January 10, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Nutrition
Satire, Nutrition, Sports nutrition, Hydration
October 31, 2016

Running and Tacos: FAQ

October 31, 2016/ Mark Remy
Running and Tacos: FAQ

Why don't more events have postrace taco bars? No one seems to have a good answer. 

Read More
October 31, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Nutrition
Tacos, Postrace nutrition, Taco bar
September 21, 2016

PowerBar Introduces New Line of Runner Feed

September 21, 2016/ Mark Remy
PowerBar Introduces New Line of Runner Feed

Runner Chow is called a "dry food" for busy endurance athletes.

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September 21, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Nutrition
Satire, Runner Chow, PowerBar, Sports nutrition
July 25, 2016

These Muffins Will Make You Say 'Holy Shit These Are Good Muffins'

July 25, 2016/ Mark Remy
These Muffins Will Make You Say 'Holy Shit These Are Good Muffins'

These muffins have cranberries, we guess, and all sorts of crap that's good for you. 

Read More
July 25, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Nutrition
Satire, Muffins
June 22, 2016

Let Us Now Praise the Shower Beer

June 22, 2016/ Mark Remy
Let Us Now Praise the Shower Beer

A simple pleasure, greater than the sum of its parts.

Read More
June 22, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Nutrition
Beer, Showers
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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