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June 14, 2023

Scientists at Gatorade Sports Science Institute Pretty Fucking Sick of Gatorade

June 14, 2023/ Mark Remy
Scientists at Gatorade Sports Science Institute Pretty Fucking Sick of Gatorade

“Gatorade this, Gatorade that, blah-blah-blah,” researchers say.

Read More
June 14, 2023/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Nutrition
Science, Sports nutrition, Hydration, Gatorade, Sick
March 30, 2020

Sports Drink Marketer Suddenly Remembers His ‘Immunity’ Product Doesn’t Actually Do Anything

March 30, 2020/ Mark Remy
Sports Drink Marketer Suddenly Remembers His ‘Immunity’ Product Doesn’t Actually Do Anything

Bogus formulation may have real-life consequences, man realizes.

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March 30, 2020/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Nutrition
Sports nutrition, Hydration, Immunity, Immune system, Placebo, Sham
June 03, 2019

Michelob Ultra Launches 'This Is Basically Water' Campaign

June 03, 2019/ Mark Remy
Michelob Ultra Launches 'This Is Basically Water' Campaign

Brand tries another tack in targeting runners and other athletes.

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June 03, 2019/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Nutrition
Hydration, Beer, Michelob Ultra, Water, Advertising
March 19, 2019

Nuun Rolls Out 'Nuun None' Placebo Tablets

March 19, 2019/ Mark Remy
Nuun Rolls Out 'Nuun None' Placebo Tablets

Company’s latest line “taps into the power of the human mind.”

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March 19, 2019/ Mark Remy/
Nutrition, Satire
Nuun, Hydration, Magic beans, Nutrition
June 04, 2017

Man Dies of Thirst in Local 5K

June 04, 2017/ Mark Remy
Man Dies of Thirst in Local 5K

Runner went nearly 19 minutes without liquid.

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June 04, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Nutrition
Hydration, 5K, Death, CamelBak
May 23, 2017

7 Photos of Runners Slaking Their Thirst, Just Because We Like the Word 'Slake'

May 23, 2017/ Mark Remy
7 Photos of Runners Slaking Their Thirst, Just Because We Like the Word 'Slake'

Slakers gonna slake. Are we right, guys?

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May 23, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Nutrition
Slake, Hydration, Stock photos
January 10, 2017

Man Takes Break to Fuel Up While Shopping for Fuel

January 10, 2017/ Mark Remy
Man Takes Break to Fuel Up While Shopping for Fuel

"You gotta stay fueled up," he says. "Just like a race car, you know? 

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January 10, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Nutrition
Satire, Nutrition, Sports nutrition, Hydration
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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