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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
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December 20, 2023

‘Now THIS Is What I Call CHIP TIME,’ Running Dad Says Yet Again

December 20, 2023/ Mark Remy
‘Now THIS Is What I Call CHIP TIME,’ Running Dad Says Yet Again

“Get it?” local man asks kids, wife.

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December 20, 2023/ Mark Remy/
real, Nutrition
Potato chips, Chip time, Puns, Dads, Nutrition
November 14, 2022

Charlie Brown Thanksgiving Dinner Actually Looks Pretty Good to Local Runner

November 14, 2022/ Mark Remy
Charlie Brown Thanksgiving Dinner Actually Looks Pretty Good to Local Runner

Carb-rich feast appeals to three-time marathoner.

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November 14, 2022/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Nutrition
Nutrition, Carb loading, Peanuts, Thanksgiving
August 10, 2020

Woman Still Waiting for Energy Bar to Kick In

August 10, 2020/ Mark Remy
Woman Still Waiting for Energy Bar to Kick In

Product may be defective, a source speculates.

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August 10, 2020/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Nutrition
Energy bars, Energy, Nutrition, Fuel, Meh
March 11, 2020

Local Runner Uses ‘Cheat Day’ to Eat Ice Cream, Sleep With Neighbor’s Wife

March 11, 2020/ Mark Remy
Local Runner Uses ‘Cheat Day’ to Eat Ice Cream, Sleep With Neighbor’s Wife

“If I didn’t have my cheat days, I’d go crazy,” says man.

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March 11, 2020/ Mark Remy/
Nutrition
Diet, Nutrition, Cheat days, Ice cream, Indulge
January 13, 2020

Local Man Not Feeling So Well After Consuming Steady Diet of Junk for Several Decades

January 13, 2020/ Mark Remy
Local Man Not Feeling So Well After Consuming Steady Diet of Junk for Several Decades

“Must have been something I ate,” says victim.

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January 13, 2020/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Nutrition
Diet, Tummy ache, Nutrition, Pain, Bad habits
August 14, 2019

Lunch Sad

August 14, 2019/ Mark Remy
Lunch Sad

Personal trainer listlessly stabs at salad greens.

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August 14, 2019/ Mark Remy/
Nutrition, Real
Lunch, Sad, Lettuce, Nutrition
May 13, 2019

Anti-Sugar PSA Makes Man Want a Soda

May 13, 2019/ Mark Remy
Anti-Sugar PSA Makes Man Want a Soda

“Man, that looks so good,” says thirsty consumer.

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May 13, 2019/ Mark Remy/
Nutrition, Satire, real
Soda, Sugar, Nutrition
April 29, 2019

Sad, Lonely Man Begins Frozen Pizza Roll-Loading for Marathon

April 29, 2019/ Mark Remy
Sad, Lonely Man Begins Frozen Pizza Roll-Loading for Marathon

“I eat a lot of pizza rolls,” says bachelor.

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April 29, 2019/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Nutrition
Carb loading, Nutrition, Pizza rolls, Sad, Lonely
April 10, 2019

Legal Sea Foods to Sponsor 'Chowder Zone' at Mile 20 of Boston Marathon

April 10, 2019/ Mark Remy
Legal Sea Foods to Sponsor 'Chowder Zone' at Mile 20 of Boston Marathon

Restaurant chain says “steaming-hot cups of ocean-fresh goodness” will help runners conquer Heartbreak Hill.

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April 10, 2019/ Mark Remy/
Nutrition, Satire
Fuel, Nutrition, Marathons, Boston Marathon, Seafood
March 19, 2019

Nuun Rolls Out 'Nuun None' Placebo Tablets

March 19, 2019/ Mark Remy
Nuun Rolls Out 'Nuun None' Placebo Tablets

Company’s latest line “taps into the power of the human mind.”

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March 19, 2019/ Mark Remy/
Nutrition, Satire
Nuun, Hydration, Magic beans, Nutrition
February 27, 2019

Might as Well Finish Pie, Study Finds

February 27, 2019/ Mark Remy
Might as Well Finish Pie, Study Finds

Findings hold true regardless of the size of the last piece.

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February 27, 2019/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Nutrition
Studies, Research, Pie, Nutrition
January 10, 2017

Man Takes Break to Fuel Up While Shopping for Fuel

January 10, 2017/ Mark Remy
Man Takes Break to Fuel Up While Shopping for Fuel

"You gotta stay fueled up," he says. "Just like a race car, you know? 

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January 10, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Nutrition
Satire, Nutrition, Sports nutrition, Hydration
May 24, 2016

Marathon Champ's Secret: A Surprisingly Simple Diet

May 24, 2016/ Mark Remy
Marathon Champ's Secret: A Surprisingly Simple Diet

Well, with one key exception.

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May 24, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Nutrition
Diet, Nutrition, Satire, Marathons, Ugali
March 25, 2016

Ask Dr. Dumb: Should Runners Eat Peeps?

March 25, 2016/ Mark Remy
Ask Dr. Dumb: Should Runners Eat Peeps?

Dr. Dumb wouldn't recommend it. Here's why.

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March 25, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Nutrition
Easter, Peeps, Nutrition, Satire, Dr. Dumb
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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