Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
  • Home
  • News Training Nutrition Gear Motivation Ask Dumb Runner
  • Comics POSTERS Quick Tips Field Guide Running History
  • Running 101
  • Tees, Hoodies, Etc. "Was It Fun? A Dumb Runner Comics Collection" "C is for Chafing" picture book "The Runner's Rule Book"
  • Support Dumb Runner
  • What Is Dumb Runner? Who Is Dumb Runner? Contact Newsletter FAQ
  • SEARCH
Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
  • Home/
  • Articles/
    • News
    • Training
    • Nutrition
    • Gear
    • Motivation
    • Ask Dumb Runner
  • Graphics/
    • Comics
    • POSTERS
    • Quick Tips
    • Field Guide
    • Running History
  • Running 101/
  • SHOP/
    • Tees, Hoodies, Etc.
    • "Was It Fun? A Dumb Runner Comics Collection"
    • "C is for Chafing" picture book
    • "The Runner's Rule Book"
  • Support Dumb Runner/
  • INFO/
    • What Is Dumb Runner?
    • Who Is Dumb Runner?
    • Contact
    • Newsletter
    • FAQ
  • SEARCH/
Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

Satire You Can Trust, Since 2015

Gear News

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
  • Home/
  • Articles/
    • News
    • Training
    • Nutrition
    • Gear
    • Motivation
    • Ask Dumb Runner
  • Graphics/
    • Comics
    • POSTERS
    • Quick Tips
    • Field Guide
    • Running History
  • Running 101/
  • SHOP/
    • Tees, Hoodies, Etc.
    • "Was It Fun? A Dumb Runner Comics Collection"
    • "C is for Chafing" picture book
    • "The Runner's Rule Book"
  • Support Dumb Runner/
  • INFO/
    • What Is Dumb Runner?
    • Who Is Dumb Runner?
    • Contact
    • Newsletter
    • FAQ
  • SEARCH/
July 21, 2021

Old Runner Has Old Jacket

July 21, 2021/ Mark Remy
Old Runner Has Old Jacket

Nylon windbreaker not worn ironically, sources say.

Read More
July 21, 2021/ Mark Remy/
Gear, Satire
Running gear, Jackets, Aging, Irony, Vintage
May 26, 2021

Study Finds Sole of Alphafly NEXT% Shoe Is ‘All Kinds of F***ed Up’

May 26, 2021/ Mark Remy
Study Finds Sole of Alphafly NEXT% Shoe Is ‘All Kinds of F***ed Up’

Report will appear in The Journal of Weird-Looking Shit.

Read More
May 26, 2021/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Gear
Shoes, Running shoes, New gear, Nike
April 14, 2021

Online Running Store Actively Tries to Discourage Purchase of Short Shorts

April 14, 2021/ Mark Remy
Online Running Store Actively Tries to Discourage Purchase of Short Shorts

Automated message gently suggests other options.

Read More
April 14, 2021/ Mark Remy/
Gear, Satire
Shorts, New gear, Shopping
April 05, 2021

Running Store Employee Still Laughing About Guy Who Came In Looking For Shoes Under $50

April 05, 2021/ Mark Remy
Running Store Employee Still Laughing About Guy Who Came In Looking For Shoes Under $50

Customer leaves without making purchase.

Read More
April 05, 2021/ Mark Remy/
Gear, Satire
Running shoes, Specialty running stores, Running gear, Laughter
February 10, 2021

Owner of 7 Running Jackets ‘Just Looking’ at Running Jackets

February 10, 2021/ Mark Remy
Owner of 7 Running Jackets ‘Just Looking’ at Running Jackets

Local runner notes that garment on screen isn’t technically a running jacket.

Read More
February 10, 2021/ Mark Remy/
Gear, Satire
Jackets, Running gear, Consumerism, Rationalization
January 25, 2021

'Baby’s First Strava' Aimed at Social-Minded, Data-Loving Infants

January 25, 2021/ Mark Remy
'Baby’s First Strava' Aimed at Social-Minded, Data-Loving Infants

“It’s kudos for kiddos,” says a company spokesman.

Read More
January 25, 2021/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Gear
Strava, Babies, Data, Bar charts
November 11, 2020

I Found the Best Jogging Stroller Under $200, and I Will Take This Information to My Grave

November 11, 2020/ Mark Remy
I Found the Best Jogging Stroller Under $200, and I Will Take This Information to My Grave

This model delivers the most bang for your stroller buck, and I will die before I tell you what it is.

Read More
November 11, 2020/ Mark Remy/
Gear, Satire
Jogging strollers, Grave, Secrets, Deals, Running gear
October 14, 2020

Latest Garmin Watch Features Pre-Broken Strap

October 14, 2020/ Mark Remy
Latest Garmin Watch Features Pre-Broken Strap

Company says innovation will save customers time, anxiety.

Read More
October 14, 2020/ Mark Remy/
Gear, Satire
Watches, Garmin
September 23, 2020

‘Sure Is Good For Running,’ Writes Shoe Reviewer Who Has Just Stopped Caring

September 23, 2020/ Mark Remy
‘Sure Is Good For Running,’ Writes Shoe Reviewer Who Has Just Stopped Caring

Longtime gear editor “blows a fuse.”

Read More
September 23, 2020/ Mark Remy/
Gear, Satire
Shoes, Running shoes, Reviews, Running gear, Media
August 28, 2020

Neck Gaiter Brand BUFF® Enters Condom Market

August 28, 2020/ Mark Remy
Neck Gaiter Brand BUFF® Enters Condom Market

Company calls new design “breathable, comfortable, and incredibly versatile.”

Read More
August 28, 2020/ Mark Remy/
Gear, Satire
Neck gaiters, Buffs, Sex, Condoms, New gear
August 13, 2020

Local Runner Wishes He Hadn't Burned All His Neck Gaiters

August 13, 2020/ Mark Remy
Local Runner Wishes He Hadn't Burned All His Neck Gaiters

Fabric accessories may make effective face masks, man learns too late.

Read More
August 13, 2020/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Gear
Buffs, Neck gaiters, Covid 19, Coronavirus, Research, Regret, Fire
August 01, 2020

'Sponsored Post' Writer Scrubs and Scrubs But Still Feels Dirty

August 01, 2020/ Mark Remy
'Sponsored Post' Writer Scrubs and Scrubs But Still Feels Dirty

Hot water, body wash, and stiff brush not effective.

Read More
August 01, 2020/ Mark Remy/
Gear, Satire
Sponsors, Gear, Crying in shower, Ads, Perfect summer pants
May 26, 2020

Editorial Wizard Transforms Ad Into Article With Addition of Byline

May 26, 2020/ Mark Remy
Editorial Wizard Transforms Ad Into Article With Addition of Byline

Modern-day sorcerer conjures up appearance of objectivity with a few keystrokes.

Read More
May 26, 2020/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Gear
Ads, Running gear, Editorial inegrity, Wizardry, Alchemy, Ethics
March 31, 2020

New Nike ZoomX Vapormask 4% Faster Than Other Face Masks

March 31, 2020/ Mark Remy
New Nike ZoomX Vapormask 4% Faster Than Other Face Masks

Company calls newest innovation a game-changer.

Read More
March 31, 2020/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Gear
Nike, Covid 19, Coronavirus, Face mask, Vaporfly
March 25, 2020

Shoes Break In New Runner

March 25, 2020/ Mark Remy
Shoes Break In New Runner

For local man, period of adjustment is off to a painful start.

Read More
March 25, 2020/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Gear
New gear, Running shoes, Shoes, Breaking in
March 02, 2020

Saucony Cancels Update of Covid 18 Shoe

March 02, 2020/ Mark Remy
Saucony Cancels Update of Covid 18 Shoe

Current version “cannot be improved upon,” shoemaker abruptly decides.

Read More
March 02, 2020/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Gear
Public health, Saucony, Covid 19, Updates, Shoes
February 12, 2020

Compression Gear the Closest Local Runner Ever Gets to Being Hugged

February 12, 2020/ Mark Remy
Compression Gear the Closest Local Runner Ever Gets to Being Hugged

Lonely man finds solace in tight-fitting apparel.

Read More
February 12, 2020/ Mark Remy/
Gear, Satire
Compression gear, Loneliness, Hugs, Running gear
February 10, 2020

‘Gear Makers Have Always Embraced Innovation,’ Adidas Rep Says of New Enchanted Shoe That Grants Wearer the Power of Flight

February 10, 2020/ Mark Remy
 ‘Gear Makers Have Always Embraced Innovation,’ Adidas Rep Says of New Enchanted Shoe That Grants Wearer the Power of Flight

Pixie Flyte gives runners unfair advantage, critics say.

Read More
February 10, 2020/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Gear
Nike, Vaporfly, Innovation, Flight, Disingenuous arguments
January 29, 2020

Baggy Shorts Conceal Penis, Scrotum

January 29, 2020/ Mark Remy
Baggy Shorts Conceal Penis, Scrotum

Man uses sartorial sleight of hand to hide bulge.

Read More
January 29, 2020/ Mark Remy/
Gear
Tights, Penis, Scrotum, Baggy shorts, Sleight of hand
January 16, 2020

Nike Exec: Vaporfly Shoes ‘Totally Fair, Assuming Everyone Else Is Also Wearing Vaporfly Shoes’

January 16, 2020/ Mark Remy
Nike Exec: Vaporfly Shoes ‘Totally Fair, Assuming Everyone Else Is Also Wearing Vaporfly Shoes’

Company rep says universal adoption will level playing field.

Read More
January 16, 2020/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Gear
Nike, Vaporfly, Technology run amok, Eliud Kipchoge, Shoes, Fairness
  • Previous
  • Next
  • Home/
  • Articles/
    • News
    • Training
    • Nutrition
    • Gear
    • Motivation
    • Ask Dumb Runner
  • Graphics/
    • Comics
    • POSTERS
    • Quick Tips
    • Field Guide
    • Running History
  • Running 101/
  • SHOP/
    • Tees, Hoodies, Etc.
    • "Was It Fun? A Dumb Runner Comics Collection"
    • "C is for Chafing" picture book
    • "The Runner's Rule Book"
  • Support Dumb Runner/
  • INFO/
    • What Is Dumb Runner?
    • Who Is Dumb Runner?
    • Contact
    • Newsletter
    • FAQ
  • SEARCH/

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

Get my BOOK!

ORDER NOW

All content © 2025 Mark Remy / Laurelhurst Media, Portland, OR

ABOUT  /  CONTACT  /  LEGAL / DISCLAIMER