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July 30, 2018

Local Runner's Prerace Jitters Arrive Three Months Early

July 30, 2018/ Mark Remy
Local Runner's Prerace Jitters Arrive Three Months Early

Anxiety and self-doubt materialize well before marathon weekend.

Read More
July 30, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Racing, Training, Satire
Prerace jitters, Nerves, Marathon training
July 23, 2018

Guy in Middle of Run Shares Brazen Plan for Accessing Starbucks Restroom: 'I'm Gonna Walk Right Through the Front Door'

July 23, 2018/ Mark Remy
Guy in Middle of Run Shares Brazen Plan for Accessing Starbucks Restroom: 'I'm Gonna Walk Right Through the Front Door'

Cocksure runner describes tactic as “the one move they won’t be expecting.”

Read More
July 23, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Training, Real
Pee, Restroom, Starbucks, Brazen, No purchase
July 18, 2018

Anguished Runner Can't Remember How to Beat Heat

July 18, 2018/ Mark Remy
Anguished Runner Can't Remember How to Beat Heat

Man can’t decide what to wear, when to go, whether to hydrate.

Read More
July 18, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Training
Heat, Panic, Tips, Training, Summer
May 29, 2018

Woman Prepares for Run By Yanking Leg Good and Hard

May 29, 2018/ Mark Remy
Woman Prepares for Run By Yanking Leg Good and Hard

"You ever have to detach a leg from a whole roasted chicken? It was like that."

Read More
May 29, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire, Injury prevention
Stretching
May 23, 2018

Report: Cannabis Can Help Runners Get High as F***

May 23, 2018/ Mark Remy
Report: Cannabis Can Help Runners Get High as F***

"The more we study cannabis, the more of its secrets we unlock," say researchers.

Read More
May 23, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Training
Marijuana, Cannabis, Research, High as fuck
May 14, 2018

Man's Marathon Recovery Enters 33rd Week

May 14, 2018/ Mark Remy
Man's Marathon Recovery Enters 33rd Week

Local runner tells friends he’s still feeling effects of race.

Read More
May 14, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Training, Racing, Satire
Marathon, Recovery, Couch
May 09, 2018

Ask the Fitness Bro: 'The Kids Saw Us Having Sex! Now What?'

May 09, 2018/ Mark Remy
Ask the Fitness Bro: 'The Kids Saw Us Having Sex! Now What?'

You’ve got questions. He’s got answers.

Read More
May 09, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Todd, Fitness, Training, Personal trainer, Sex
April 30, 2018

Man Returns From Jog Completely Unharmed

April 30, 2018/ Mark Remy
Man Returns From Jog Completely Unharmed

No bodies found, no trauma endured during easy 3-mile jaunt.

Read More
April 30, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Jogging, Harm
April 25, 2018

Retractable Leash Adds Element of Fun for Passing Runners

April 25, 2018/ Mark Remy
Retractable Leash Adds Element of Fun for Passing Runners

“Suddenly, I had to deal with this erratic hazard. It was, like, Oh, hello! I had to laugh."

Read More
April 25, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire, Safety
Dogs, Leash, Trail
April 23, 2018

Report: Old Guy Hauling Ass

April 23, 2018/ Mark Remy
Report: Old Guy Hauling Ass

Witnesses say silver-haired man "tearing it up" on local path.

Read More
April 23, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Aging, Old guy, Hauling ass, Speed
April 04, 2018

Man Can’t Believe He's Been Pronouncing 'Strava' Wrong All This Time

April 04, 2018/ Mark Remy
Man Can’t Believe He's Been Pronouncing 'Strava' Wrong All This Time

Runner made phonetic flub for nearly two years before being corrected.

Read More
April 04, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Embarrassment, Strava
March 21, 2018

NEW! Ask the Fitness Bro

March 21, 2018/ Mark Remy
NEW! Ask the Fitness Bro

You've got questions. He's got answers.

Read More
March 21, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Fitness, Training, Personal trainer, Todd
March 14, 2018

Boston Spectator Training Hard for Marathon

March 14, 2018/ Mark Remy
Boston Spectator Training Hard for Marathon

Local man's regimen involves standing, screaming, drinking.

Read More
March 14, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Training
Boston Marathon, Marathon training, Beer, Wicked
February 28, 2018

Concierge Has Idea For Where Guest Can Run

February 28, 2018/ Mark Remy
Concierge Has Idea For Where Guest Can Run

Hotel staffer suggests 0.9-mile "fitness path."

Read More
February 28, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Hotel, Desk clerk, Travel
February 26, 2018

'I Don't Care About Pace,' Says Woman Who's Always Half a Step Ahead

February 26, 2018/ Mark Remy
'I Don't Care About Pace,' Says Woman Who's Always Half a Step Ahead

Local runner touts self to others as "noncompetitive." 

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February 26, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Pace, Half step
February 19, 2018

Ask Dr. Dumb: Should I Worry About Tearing My Colon?

February 19, 2018/ Mark Remy
Ask Dr. Dumb: Should I Worry About Tearing My Colon?

It happened to Paula Radcliffe. Don't let it happen to you.

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February 19, 2018/ Mark Remy/
January 28, 2018

New Virtual Reality Headset Lets Indoor Runners Pretend They're in Nicer Gym

January 28, 2018/ Mark Remy
New Virtual Reality Headset Lets Indoor Runners Pretend They're in Nicer Gym

With the flip of a switch, grimy fitness centers go from shabby to chic.

Read More
January 28, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Training
Treadmill, Gym, Virtual reality
January 21, 2018

Mr. President, Here's Your Fitness Plan (Seriously)

January 21, 2018/ Mark Remy
Mr. President, Here's Your Fitness Plan (Seriously)

Forget "exercise" and just go for a run. Today. Really.

Read More
January 21, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Real, Training
Donald Trump, Exercise, Start running, Beginners
January 08, 2018

Ball Heavy

January 08, 2018/ Mark Remy
Ball Heavy

Man lifts object despite its considerable mass.

Read More
January 08, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Ball, Heavy
November 27, 2017

The Dumb Runner Guide to Punching

November 27, 2017/ Mark Remy
The Dumb Runner Guide to Punching

Is it ever OK to punch while running? Yes—but first, review this FAQ.

Read More
November 27, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Real, Safety
Punching, Pugilism, UK, Grimsby, Jogging
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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