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March 04, 2019

Report: Most Running Injuries Result From People Putting Shoes on Wrong Feet

March 04, 2019/ Mark Remy
Report: Most Running Injuries Result From People Putting Shoes on Wrong Feet

“We’re as surprised as anyone,” researcher says of findings.

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March 04, 2019/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Injury prevention, Training
Shoes, Injuries, Injury prevention, Research
February 25, 2019

White-Hot Stabbing Sensation Under Kneecap Probably Nothing Serious

February 25, 2019/ Mark Remy
White-Hot Stabbing Sensation Under Kneecap Probably Nothing Serious

Searing pain will likely go away on its own, man tells self.

Read More
February 25, 2019/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Training, Injury prevention
Injuries, Knees, Pain, Training
February 13, 2019

Old Guy's Marathon Training Plan Just a Bunch of Running

February 13, 2019/ Mark Remy
Old Guy's Marathon Training Plan Just a Bunch of Running

Septuagenarian’s regimen leaves younger runners incredulous.

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February 13, 2019/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire, Racing
Old guy, Training, Marathon training, Training plans
January 30, 2019

Goose Practically Begging Runner to Take One More Step

January 30, 2019/ Mark Remy
Goose Practically Begging Runner to Take One More Step

Tense standoff interrupts run on lakeshore path.

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January 30, 2019/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Goose, Tense standoff, Animal encounter
January 09, 2019

Sexual Tension Threatens to Suck Entire Running Group Into Black Hole of Couple's Unfulfilled Desire

January 09, 2019/ Mark Remy
Sexual Tension Threatens to Suck Entire Running Group Into Black Hole of Couple's Unfulfilled Desire

“I wish they’d just f*** already,” says fellow runner.

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January 09, 2019/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Sex, Sexual tension, Group runs, Black holes
January 07, 2019

Ask Dr. Dumb: All About Foam Rolling

January 07, 2019/ Mark Remy
Ask Dr. Dumb: All About Foam Rolling

What is a foam roller? How many do you need? When should you do it? We answer these questions and more.

Read More
January 07, 2019/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Foam roller, Foam rolling, Recovery, Bullshit
November 19, 2018

Man's Running Starting to Interfere With His Drinking

November 19, 2018/ Mark Remy
Man's Running Starting to Interfere With His Drinking

Friends consider intervention—before it’s too late.

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November 19, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
drinking, morning runs
September 28, 2018

Woman Spends Entire Tempo Run Imagining Treadmill Belt Is Chuck Grassley's Face

September 28, 2018/ Mark Remy
Woman Spends Entire Tempo Run Imagining Treadmill Belt Is Chuck Grassley's Face

GOP Senator provides motivation at local gym.

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September 28, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Real, Training
Chuck Grassley, Patriarchy, Politics, Treadmill, Tempo run, Rage
September 18, 2018

'I Keep Volume at Safe Level,' Says Guy Who Routinely Jumps in Fright When Other Runners Pass Him

September 18, 2018/ Mark Remy
'I Keep Volume at Safe Level,' Says Guy Who Routinely Jumps in Fright When Other Runners Pass Him

A local runner is unaware of his lack of awareness.

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September 18, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Safety, Training
Music, Podcasts, Headphones, Earbuds, Situational awareness, Delusion
July 30, 2018

Local Runner's Prerace Jitters Arrive Three Months Early

July 30, 2018/ Mark Remy
Local Runner's Prerace Jitters Arrive Three Months Early

Anxiety and self-doubt materialize well before marathon weekend.

Read More
July 30, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Racing, Training, Satire
Prerace jitters, Nerves, Marathon training
July 18, 2018

Anguished Runner Can't Remember How to Beat Heat

July 18, 2018/ Mark Remy
Anguished Runner Can't Remember How to Beat Heat

Man can’t decide what to wear, when to go, whether to hydrate.

Read More
July 18, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Training
Heat, Panic, Tips, Training, Summer
May 29, 2018

Woman Prepares for Run By Yanking Leg Good and Hard

May 29, 2018/ Mark Remy
Woman Prepares for Run By Yanking Leg Good and Hard

"You ever have to detach a leg from a whole roasted chicken? It was like that."

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May 29, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire, Injury prevention
Stretching
May 23, 2018

Report: Cannabis Can Help Runners Get High as F***

May 23, 2018/ Mark Remy
Report: Cannabis Can Help Runners Get High as F***

"The more we study cannabis, the more of its secrets we unlock," say researchers.

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May 23, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Training
Marijuana, Cannabis, Research, High as fuck
May 14, 2018

Man's Marathon Recovery Enters 33rd Week

May 14, 2018/ Mark Remy
Man's Marathon Recovery Enters 33rd Week

Local runner tells friends he’s still feeling effects of race.

Read More
May 14, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Training, Racing, Satire
Marathon, Recovery, Couch
May 09, 2018

Ask the Fitness Bro: 'The Kids Saw Us Having Sex! Now What?'

May 09, 2018/ Mark Remy
Ask the Fitness Bro: 'The Kids Saw Us Having Sex! Now What?'

You’ve got questions. He’s got answers.

Read More
May 09, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Todd, Fitness, Training, Personal trainer, Sex
April 30, 2018

Man Returns From Jog Completely Unharmed

April 30, 2018/ Mark Remy
Man Returns From Jog Completely Unharmed

No bodies found, no trauma endured during easy 3-mile jaunt.

Read More
April 30, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Jogging, Harm
April 25, 2018

Retractable Leash Adds Element of Fun for Passing Runners

April 25, 2018/ Mark Remy
Retractable Leash Adds Element of Fun for Passing Runners

“Suddenly, I had to deal with this erratic hazard. It was, like, Oh, hello! I had to laugh."

Read More
April 25, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire, Safety
Dogs, Leash, Trail
April 23, 2018

Report: Old Guy Hauling Ass

April 23, 2018/ Mark Remy
Report: Old Guy Hauling Ass

Witnesses say silver-haired man "tearing it up" on local path.

Read More
April 23, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Aging, Old guy, Hauling ass, Speed
April 04, 2018

Man Can’t Believe He's Been Pronouncing 'Strava' Wrong All This Time

April 04, 2018/ Mark Remy
Man Can’t Believe He's Been Pronouncing 'Strava' Wrong All This Time

Runner made phonetic flub for nearly two years before being corrected.

Read More
April 04, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Embarrassment, Strava
March 21, 2018

NEW! Ask the Fitness Bro

March 21, 2018/ Mark Remy
NEW! Ask the Fitness Bro

You've got questions. He's got answers.

Read More
March 21, 2018/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Fitness, Training, Personal trainer, Todd
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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