Woman Spends Entire Tempo Run Imagining Treadmill Belt Is Chuck Grassley's Face

 istockphoto.com

istockphoto.com

A local woman “blew off some steam” at the gym late today by running six hard miles on a treadmill and imagining that its belt was the face of U.S. Senator Chuck Grassley.

“I spent most of Thursday and a lot of (Friday) literally screaming at my phone, my laptop, and my TV,” said the woman, who identified herself only as Diana. “So, yeah. I’ve been pretty f***ing furious.”

The source of her rage, Diana explained, was the U.S. Senate Judiciary Committee and its hearings on allegations of sexual assault against Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh. The hearings were marked by contentiousness and partisan anger.

Grassley, a Republican from Iowa, is chairman of the Judiciary Committee.

“My original plan was to do a few easy miles,” said Diana. “Then I got on the treadmill and started thinking about (the hearings) and my pace crept up.”

Within minutes, she said, she noticed that a television facing her treadmill was playing a clip from the Kavanaugh hearings. When Grassley’s face appeared on screen, she said, “I lost it.”

“I glanced down at the treadmill’s belt and saw (Grassley's) stupid f***ing face,” she said. “And I just started pounding.”

She ran the next six miles at 7:00-mile pace.

“I’ve never run that fast for that far before,” she said. “Man. It felt good.”

Despite her unplanned Friday evening workout, Diana said, she planned to return to the gym early Saturday morning—for a kickboxing class.

“Just f*** all those f***ing f***s,” she added. “F***ers.”