Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
  • Home
  • News Training Nutrition Gear Motivation Ask Dumb Runner
  • POSTERS Comics Quick Tips
  • Running 101
  • Tees, Hoodies, Etc. "Was It Fun? A Dumb Runner Comics Collection" "C is for Chafing" picture book "The Runner's Rule Book"
  • Support Dumb Runner
  • What Is Dumb Runner? Who Is Dumb Runner? Contact Newsletter FAQ
  • SEARCH
Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
  • Home/
  • Articles/
    • News
    • Training
    • Nutrition
    • Gear
    • Motivation
    • Ask Dumb Runner
  • Graphics/
    • POSTERS
    • Comics
    • Quick Tips
  • Running 101/
  • SHOP/
    • Tees, Hoodies, Etc.
    • "Was It Fun? A Dumb Runner Comics Collection"
    • "C is for Chafing" picture book
    • "The Runner's Rule Book"
  • Support Dumb Runner/
  • INFO/
    • What Is Dumb Runner?
    • Who Is Dumb Runner?
    • Contact
    • Newsletter
    • FAQ
  • SEARCH/
Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

Satire You Can Trust, Since 2015

Nutrition News

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com
  • Home/
  • Articles/
    • News
    • Training
    • Nutrition
    • Gear
    • Motivation
    • Ask Dumb Runner
  • Graphics/
    • POSTERS
    • Comics
    • Quick Tips
  • Running 101/
  • SHOP/
    • Tees, Hoodies, Etc.
    • "Was It Fun? A Dumb Runner Comics Collection"
    • "C is for Chafing" picture book
    • "The Runner's Rule Book"
  • Support Dumb Runner/
  • INFO/
    • What Is Dumb Runner?
    • Who Is Dumb Runner?
    • Contact
    • Newsletter
    • FAQ
  • SEARCH/
March 24, 2025

New Regulations Require Graphic Warning Labels on Energy Gels

March 24, 2025/ Mark Remy
New Regulations Require Graphic Warning Labels on Energy Gels

“Fair enough,” say sports nutrition brands.

Read More
March 24, 2025/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Nutrition
GU, Warning labels, Mouthfeel
December 02, 2024

Local Woman Motivates Self by Holding Delicious Snack Inches From Mouth for Entire Run

December 02, 2024/ Mark Remy
Local Woman Motivates Self by Holding Delicious Snack Inches From Mouth for Entire Run

Tantalizing treat remains just out of reach, regardless of pace.

Read More
December 02, 2024/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Nutrition
Motivation, Granola bar, Tantalus, Greek myth
August 26, 2024

Report: If Local Runner’s Date Doesn’t Show Up Soon, He’s Going to Start Carb-Loading Without Him

August 26, 2024/ Mark Remy
Report: If Local Runner’s Date Doesn’t Show Up Soon, He’s Going to Start Carb-Loading Without Him

Tardiness threatens to put man's fueling plan at risk.

Read More
August 26, 2024/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Nutrition
Carb loading, Pasta, Dating, Lateness
August 21, 2024

Local Runner Doesn’t Know Where Craving for Chocolate Pudding Came From, Doesn’t Care Where Craving for Chocolate Pudding Came From, Just Wants Chocolate Pudding

August 21, 2024/ Mark Remy
Local Runner Doesn’t Know Where Craving for Chocolate Pudding Came From, Doesn’t Care Where Craving for Chocolate Pudding Came From, Just Wants Chocolate Pudding

Sudden desire materializes during 10-mile run.

Read More
August 21, 2024/ Mark Remy/
June 09, 2024

Little Debbie Snack Brand Pivots to Sports Nutrition

June 09, 2024/ Mark Remy
Little Debbie Snack Brand Pivots to Sports Nutrition

Snack cake maker targets endurance athlete market.

Read More
June 09, 2024/ Mark Remy/
Nutrition, Satire
Snack cakes, Little Debbie, Marketing, Sports nutrition, Fuel
May 01, 2024

In Sponsored Post, FDA Calls GU Energy Chews Unsafe For Anyone Allergic to Outrageously Delicious Flavors

May 01, 2024/ Mark Remy
In Sponsored Post, FDA Calls GU Energy Chews Unsafe For Anyone Allergic to Outrageously Delicious Flavors

“We recall these products… fondly!” says federal agency.

Read More
May 01, 2024/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Nutrition
GU, Sports nutrition, Sponsored post, FDA, Integrity, Outrageously delicious
March 13, 2024

American Pickle Council Can’t Believe ‘Drink Pickle Juice’ Stunt Actually Worked

March 13, 2024/ Mark Remy
American Pickle Council Can’t Believe  ‘Drink Pickle Juice’ Stunt Actually Worked

Drunken wager pays off for trade group.

Read More
March 13, 2024/ Mark Remy/
Nutrition, Satire
Marketing, Stunt, Pickles, Pickle juice, Juice
December 20, 2023

‘Now THIS Is What I Call CHIP TIME,’ Running Dad Says Yet Again

December 20, 2023/ Mark Remy
‘Now THIS Is What I Call CHIP TIME,’ Running Dad Says Yet Again

“Get it?” local man asks kids, wife.

Read More
December 20, 2023/ Mark Remy/
real, Nutrition
Potato chips, Chip time, Puns, Dads, Nutrition
December 04, 2023

Local Runner Adds Insulating Layer of Fat for Long, Cold Winter

December 04, 2023/ Mark Remy
Local Runner Adds Insulating Layer of Fat for Long, Cold Winter

Man loads up before temperatures drop.

Read More
December 04, 2023/ Mark Remy/
Nutrition, Satire
Fat, Calories, Winter, Insulation, Animal instincts
August 23, 2023

CLIF Introduces 6-Foot ‘Party Bar’

August 23, 2023/ Mark Remy
CLIF Introduces 6-Foot ‘Party Bar’

Sports nutrition giant touts “biggest product launch yet.”

Read More
August 23, 2023/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Nutrition
Party, CLIF, Energy bars
August 07, 2023

Heartbroken Runner Spends Evening on Couch Eating GU Straight From Carton

August 07, 2023/ Mark Remy
Heartbroken Runner Spends Evening on Couch Eating GU Straight From Carton

Sobbing woman seeks solace in tub of energy gel.

Read More
August 07, 2023/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Nutrition
GU, Heartbreak, Sad
June 14, 2023

Scientists at Gatorade Sports Science Institute Pretty Fucking Sick of Gatorade

June 14, 2023/ Mark Remy
Scientists at Gatorade Sports Science Institute Pretty Fucking Sick of Gatorade

“Gatorade this, Gatorade that, blah-blah-blah,” researchers say.

Read More
June 14, 2023/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Nutrition
Science, Sports nutrition, Hydration, Gatorade, Sick
June 12, 2023

Nabisco Influencer Taps Into the Power of Nilla to Fuel Her Runs

June 12, 2023/ Mark Remy
Nabisco Influencer Taps Into the Power of Nilla to Fuel Her Runs

“Nilla Wafers are a great source of nilla,” says woman.

Read More
June 12, 2023/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Nutrition
Sports nutrition, Cookies, Nabisco, Nilla, Wafers, Influencer
November 14, 2022

Charlie Brown Thanksgiving Dinner Actually Looks Pretty Good to Local Runner

November 14, 2022/ Mark Remy
Charlie Brown Thanksgiving Dinner Actually Looks Pretty Good to Local Runner

Carb-rich feast appeals to three-time marathoner.

Read More
November 14, 2022/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Nutrition
Nutrition, Carb loading, Peanuts, Thanksgiving
August 29, 2022

New GU+Scope™ Promises Lasting Energy, Fresh Breath

August 29, 2022/ Mark Remy
New GU+Scope™ Promises Lasting Energy, Fresh Breath

New line of co-branded gels hits shelves today.

Read More
August 29, 2022/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Nutrition
GU, Energy, Scope, Fresh breath
June 06, 2022

Pure-Hearted Runner Is Sole Survivor of Clif Factory Tour

June 06, 2022/ Mark Remy
Pure-Hearted Runner Is Sole Survivor of Clif Factory Tour

Tour leader denies any wrongdoing.

Read More
June 06, 2022/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Nutrition
CLIF, Survival, Factory, Wonka
November 16, 2021

Athletic Brewing Company Introduces Non-Caloric Gels

November 16, 2021/ Mark Remy
Athletic Brewing Company Introduces Non-Caloric Gels

Product delivers “all the great taste of a gel” but without the energy.

Read More
November 16, 2021/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Nutrition
Fuel, Energy, Gels, Calories
August 25, 2021

FDA Fully Approves Gummy Bears for Long Run Use

August 25, 2021/ Mark Remy
FDA Fully Approves Gummy Bears for Long Run Use

Most runners cheer the announcement—but skeptics remain wary.

Read More
August 25, 2021/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Nutrition
Gummy Bears, Long runs, Fuel, FDA
August 10, 2021

Ask Dr. Dumb: Porridge!

August 10, 2021/ Mark Remy
Ask Dr. Dumb: Porridge!

A Scottish marathoner brought her own supply to the Tokyo Games, so it’s probably worth a look.

Read More
August 10, 2021/ Mark Remy/
Real, Nutrition, Satire
Breakfast, Porridge, Oatmeal, Kilts
June 07, 2021

Ransomware Attack Shuts Down Major GU Pipeline

June 07, 2021/ Mark Remy
Ransomware Attack Shuts Down Major GU Pipeline

Hackers threaten fuel supply for millions.

Read More
June 07, 2021/ Mark Remy/
Satire
GU, Energy, Pipeline, Ransomware, Fuel
  • Next
  • Home/
  • Articles/
    • News
    • Training
    • Nutrition
    • Gear
    • Motivation
    • Ask Dumb Runner
  • Graphics/
    • POSTERS
    • Comics
    • Quick Tips
  • Running 101/
  • SHOP/
    • Tees, Hoodies, Etc.
    • "Was It Fun? A Dumb Runner Comics Collection"
    • "C is for Chafing" picture book
    • "The Runner's Rule Book"
  • Support Dumb Runner/
  • INFO/
    • What Is Dumb Runner?
    • Who Is Dumb Runner?
    • Contact
    • Newsletter
    • FAQ
  • SEARCH/

Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

Get my BOOK!

ORDER NOW

All content © 2025 Mark Remy / Laurelhurst Media, Portland, OR

ABOUT  /  CONTACT  /  LEGAL / DISCLAIMER