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January 02, 2023

Personal Trainer’s New Year's Resolutions All Include the Word ‘Core’

January 02, 2023/ Mark Remy
Personal Trainer’s New Year's Resolutions All Include the Word ‘Core’

Local man pledges to strengthen core, encourage others to do so.

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January 02, 2023/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Personal trainer, New Year, Resolutions, Core
December 07, 2022

Local Runner Spends Some Time Strengthening Core, Staring at Floor Thinkin’ About Stuff

December 07, 2022/ Mark Remy
Local Runner Spends Some Time Strengthening Core, Staring at Floor  Thinkin’ About Stuff

Man’s thoughts drift from ex-girlfriends to existence of God to what to have for lunch.

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December 07, 2022/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Plank, Core, Reflection, Regret
August 15, 2022

Coach Tells Runners That If He’s Hard on Them, It’s Only Because He Wants Them to Succeed and Also Because of Unresolved Issues With His Own Domineering Father

August 15, 2022/ Mark Remy
Coach Tells Runners That If He’s Hard on Them, It’s Only Because He Wants Them to Succeed and Also Because of Unresolved Issues With His Own Domineering Father

Student athletes get surprisingly candid pep talk.

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August 15, 2022/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Track, Coach, Father, High expectations
July 25, 2022

Treadmills Suck, Researchers Conclude

July 25, 2022/ Mark Remy
Treadmills Suck, Researchers Conclude

Report’s findings are “definitive,” say scientists.

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July 25, 2022/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Treadmill, Training, Laboratory, Electrodes, Research
June 29, 2022

Whole-Body Workout Injures Whole Body

June 29, 2022/ Mark Remy
Whole-Body Workout Injures Whole Body

Local runner hurts entire self in just 30 minutes, with no equipment.

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June 29, 2022/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Whole body, Training, Injuries
June 22, 2022

Heart Attack Turns ‘Happy Runner’ Stock Photo Shoot Into 'Chest Pain Runner' Stock Photo Shoot

June 22, 2022/ Mark Remy
Heart Attack Turns ‘Happy Runner’ Stock Photo Shoot Into 'Chest Pain Runner' Stock Photo Shoot

Quick-thinking art director gets dozens of useful shots.

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June 22, 2022/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Stock photos, Heart attack, Chest pain
June 20, 2022

For Local Runner, ‘Comparatively Light Intensity Training’ Zone Remains Elusive

June 20, 2022/ Mark Remy
For Local Runner, ‘Comparatively Light Intensity Training’ Zone Remains Elusive

“I just can’t put my finger on it,” man says.

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June 20, 2022/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Training, Buttons, Zones, Sexual tension
March 02, 2022

NEW! Ask an Inept Running Coach

March 02, 2022/ Mark Remy
NEW! Ask an Inept Running Coach

Who knows what crazy thing he’ll say next?

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March 02, 2022/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Training
Coach, Bad advice, Twitter
December 06, 2021

Runner’s Holiday Letter Just a Bunch of Strava Charts

December 06, 2021/ Mark Remy
Runner’s Holiday Letter Just a Bunch of Strava Charts

Recipients struggle to interpret data.

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December 06, 2021/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Strava, Holidays, Letters, Data
September 15, 2021

Local Masochist Annoyed That Running Hasn’t Ruined His Knees Yet

September 15, 2021/ Mark Remy
Local Masochist Annoyed That Running Hasn’t Ruined His Knees Yet

Pain lover’s patience grows thin.

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September 15, 2021/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Pain, Knees, Injuries, Masochism, Impatience
August 23, 2021

Woman Pouring Glass of Wine at 4 p.m. Starting to Think Run Not Happening Today

August 23, 2021/ Mark Remy
Woman Pouring Glass of Wine at 4 p.m. Starting to Think Run Not Happening Today

Local runner shifts exercise plans to tomorrow.

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August 23, 2021/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Wine, Procrastination, Tomorrow, Motivation
August 02, 2021

Angel, Devil Both Make Compelling Case for Skipping Run

August 02, 2021/ Mark Remy
Angel, Devil Both Make Compelling Case for Skipping Run

Woman decides to follow advice to nap instead.

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August 02, 2021/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Angel, Devil, Duality of man, Rest, Recovery
July 14, 2021

Man Packing for Beachside Vacation Hilariously Includes Running Gear

July 14, 2021/ Mark Remy
Man Packing for Beachside Vacation Hilariously Includes Running Gear

Runner has history of packing shoes and shorts, not using them.

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July 14, 2021/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Training
Travel, Shoes, Suitcase, Packing, Guilt
July 07, 2021

Ask Dr. Dumb: Should I Join the Jump Rope Craze?

July 07, 2021/ Mark Remy
Ask Dr. Dumb: Should I Join the Jump Rope Craze?

Short answer: Of course! It’s a craze!

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July 07, 2021/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Jump rope, Fitness craze, Social media
June 01, 2021

Report: Ice Most Effective as Injury Treatment When Combined With Whiskey

June 01, 2021/ Mark Remy
Report: Ice Most Effective as Injury Treatment When Combined With Whiskey

New application shows “great promise,” researchers say.

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June 01, 2021/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Injuries, Ice, Icing, Cocktails, Whiskey
March 15, 2021

Track Workout About to Wipe Stupid Smile Off Local Runner’s Face

March 15, 2021/ Mark Remy
Track Workout About to Wipe Stupid Smile Off Local Runner’s Face

Pained grimace soon to replace toothy grin, sources say.

Read More
March 15, 2021/ Mark Remy/
Training, Real
Track, Speed, Grimace, Stupid smile
January 06, 2021

New Peloton Feature Lets Users Terrify Virtual Runners by Passing Way Too Close

January 06, 2021/ Mark Remy
New Peloton Feature Lets Users Terrify Virtual Runners by Passing Way Too Close

Real Ride™ package aims to better replicate outdoor cycling.

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January 06, 2021/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Cyclists, Peloton, Terror, Etiquette, Indoor cycling
December 02, 2020

Local Runner Pretty Sure Injury Has Healed By Now

December 02, 2020/ Mark Remy
Local Runner Pretty Sure Injury Has Healed By Now

“I’m sure it’s OK for me to run again,” woman declares.

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December 02, 2020/ Mark Remy/
Training
Injuries, Healing, Premature, Vicious circle
October 26, 2020

Local Man Starting to Think His Core Will Never Be Strong Enough for Runner’s World

October 26, 2020/ Mark Remy
Local Man Starting to Think His Core Will Never Be Strong Enough for Runner’s World

Publication’s exhortations are “relentless,” says runner.

Read More
October 26, 2020/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Core, Runner's World
October 07, 2020

Report: Schadenfreude Makes Workouts 20% More Enjoyable

October 07, 2020/ Mark Remy
Report: Schadenfreude Makes Workouts 20% More Enjoyable

New study has implications in fields of exercise science and karmic retribution.

Read More
October 07, 2020/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Training, Research, Schadenfreude, Enjoyment, Stephen Miller, Comeuppance
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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