New Injury Guidelines Recommend Wincing, Clutching Source of Pain
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'I'm So Out of Shape,' Laments Person Currently Kicking Your Ass
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The takeaway, experts say: You suck.
Read MoreReport: Most Running Injuries Result From People Putting Shoes on Wrong Feet
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“We’re as surprised as anyone,” researcher says of findings.
Read MoreWhite-Hot Stabbing Sensation Under Kneecap Probably Nothing Serious
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Searing pain will likely go away on its own, man tells self.
Read MoreOld Guy's Marathon Training Plan Just a Bunch of Running
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Septuagenarian’s regimen leaves younger runners incredulous.
Read MoreGoose Practically Begging Runner to Take One More Step
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Tense standoff interrupts run on lakeshore path.
Read MoreSexual Tension Threatens to Suck Entire Running Group Into Black Hole of Couple's Unfulfilled Desire
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“I wish they’d just f*** already,” says fellow runner.
Read MoreAsk Dr. Dumb: All About Foam Rolling
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What is a foam roller? How many do you need? When should you do it? We answer these questions and more.
Read MoreMan's Running Starting to Interfere With His Drinking
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Friends consider intervention—before it’s too late.
Read MoreWoman Spends Entire Tempo Run Imagining Treadmill Belt Is Chuck Grassley's Face
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GOP Senator provides motivation at local gym.
Read More'I Keep Volume at Safe Level,' Says Guy Who Routinely Jumps in Fright When Other Runners Pass Him
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A local runner is unaware of his lack of awareness.
Read MoreThe Total Moron's Guide to Becoming a Runner
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Don't know where to start? We’re here to help.
Read MoreLocal Runner's Prerace Jitters Arrive Three Months Early
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Anxiety and self-doubt materialize well before marathon weekend.
Read MoreGuy in Middle of Run Shares Brazen Plan for Accessing Starbucks Restroom: 'I'm Gonna Walk Right Through the Front Door'
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Cocksure runner describes tactic as “the one move they won’t be expecting.”
Read MoreAnguished Runner Can't Remember How to Beat Heat
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Man can’t decide what to wear, when to go, whether to hydrate.
Read MoreWoman Prepares for Run By Yanking Leg Good and Hard
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"You ever have to detach a leg from a whole roasted chicken? It was like that."
Read MoreReport: Cannabis Can Help Runners Get High as F***
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"The more we study cannabis, the more of its secrets we unlock," say researchers.
Read MoreMan's Marathon Recovery Enters 33rd Week
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Local runner tells friends he’s still feeling effects of race.
Read MoreAsk the Fitness Bro: 'The Kids Saw Us Having Sex! Now What?'
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You’ve got questions. He’s got answers.
Read MoreMan Returns From Jog Completely Unharmed
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