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June 01, 2021

Report: Ice Most Effective as Injury Treatment When Combined With Whiskey

June 01, 2021/ Mark Remy
Report: Ice Most Effective as Injury Treatment When Combined With Whiskey

New application shows “great promise,” researchers say.

Read More
June 01, 2021/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Injuries, Ice, Icing, Cocktails, Whiskey
March 15, 2021

Track Workout About to Wipe Stupid Smile Off Local Runner’s Face

March 15, 2021/ Mark Remy
Track Workout About to Wipe Stupid Smile Off Local Runner’s Face

Pained grimace soon to replace toothy grin, sources say.

Read More
March 15, 2021/ Mark Remy/
Training, Real
Track, Speed, Grimace, Stupid smile
January 06, 2021

New Peloton Feature Lets Users Terrify Virtual Runners by Passing Way Too Close

January 06, 2021/ Mark Remy
New Peloton Feature Lets Users Terrify Virtual Runners by Passing Way Too Close

Real Ride™ package aims to better replicate outdoor cycling.

Read More
January 06, 2021/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Cyclists, Peloton, Terror, Etiquette, Indoor cycling
December 02, 2020

Local Runner Pretty Sure Injury Has Healed By Now

December 02, 2020/ Mark Remy
Local Runner Pretty Sure Injury Has Healed By Now

“I’m sure it’s OK for me to run again,” woman declares.

Read More
December 02, 2020/ Mark Remy/
Training
Injuries, Healing, Premature, Vicious circle
October 26, 2020

Local Man Starting to Think His Core Will Never Be Strong Enough for Runner’s World

October 26, 2020/ Mark Remy
Local Man Starting to Think His Core Will Never Be Strong Enough for Runner’s World

Publication’s exhortations are “relentless,” says runner.

Read More
October 26, 2020/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Core, Runner's World
October 07, 2020

Report: Schadenfreude Makes Workouts 20% More Enjoyable

October 07, 2020/ Mark Remy
Report: Schadenfreude Makes Workouts 20% More Enjoyable

New study has implications in fields of exercise science and karmic retribution.

Read More
October 07, 2020/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Training, Research, Schadenfreude, Enjoyment, Stephen Miller, Comeuppance
August 19, 2020

Tracksmith Unveils ‘Heritage’ Line of Performance-Enhancing Drugs

August 19, 2020/ Mark Remy
Tracksmith Unveils ‘Heritage’ Line of Performance-Enhancing Drugs

Running brand appeals to nostalgic runners seeking “old school” edge.

Read More
August 19, 2020/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Performance enhancing drugs, Tracksmith, Amphetamines, Twee
August 05, 2020

You Can Do This 20-Minute Core Workout Anywhere, But Why?

August 05, 2020/ Mark Remy
You Can Do This 20-Minute Core Workout Anywhere, But Why?

Don’t forget to smile.

Read More
August 05, 2020/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Core, Workout, 20 minutes, Why
August 03, 2020

Local Runner Adopts ‘1 Day On, 4 Days Off’ Training Plan

August 03, 2020/ Mark Remy
Local Runner Adopts ‘1 Day On, 4 Days Off’ Training Plan

“I’m feeling really rested these days,” says six-time marathoner.

Read More
August 03, 2020/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Training
Training plans, Rest, Recovery, Motivation
July 25, 2020

With Garmin Connect Still Down, Desperate Runners Buy Digital Mileage-Tracking Tools on the Street

July 25, 2020/ Mark Remy
With Garmin Connect Still Down, Desperate Runners Buy Digital Mileage-Tracking Tools on the Street

Jonesing for a fix, athletes turn to the black market.

Read More
July 25, 2020/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Garmin Connect, Technology, Street, Black market, Jonesing
July 23, 2020

Report: Hills Are Bullshit

July 23, 2020/ Mark Remy
Report: Hills Are Bullshit

Report’s author arrives at her conclusion during a recent run.

Read More
July 23, 2020/ Mark Remy/
Training
Hills, Climbing, Bullshit, Research
July 06, 2020

Man Resumes Running After 15-Year Hiatus, Somehow Injures Self

July 06, 2020/ Mark Remy
Man Resumes Running After 15-Year Hiatus, Somehow Injures Self

Attempt to “get back in shape” doesn’t go as planned.

Read More
July 06, 2020/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire, Injury prevention
Injuries, Break, Pain, Foolhardy
June 11, 2020

CrossFit PR Director Gives Company’s Founder New Phone

June 11, 2020/ Mark Remy
CrossFit PR Director Gives Company’s Founder New Phone

Greg Glassman urged to use new device exclusively, starting immediately.

Read More
June 11, 2020/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Training
CrossFit, Greg Glassman, Racism, Public Relations, Crisis management, Fisher Price
May 19, 2020

Basic Features Will Remain Free, Strava Reassures Pathetic Cheapskates

May 19, 2020/ Mark Remy
Basic Features Will Remain Free, Strava Reassures Pathetic Cheapskates

Company stresses its shift to subscription model won’t shut out stingy parasites.

Read More
May 19, 2020/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire, Real
Strava, Training, Data
May 11, 2020

Treadmill Enthusiast Wishes There Were Way to Replicate Experience Outside Gym

May 11, 2020/ Mark Remy
Treadmill Enthusiast Wishes There Were Way to Replicate Experience Outside Gym

“I really miss running,” says man.

Read More
May 11, 2020/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Coronavirus, COVID-19, Treadmill, Gym
March 04, 2020

Treadmill User Tempted by Big, Red EJECT Button

March 04, 2020/ Mark Remy
Treadmill User Tempted by Big, Red EJECT Button

For local runner, curiosity almost too much to bear.

Read More
March 04, 2020/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Training
Treadmill, Curiosity, EJECT, Buttons
February 26, 2020

Local Man Loves Everything About Running Except for the Running Part

February 26, 2020/ Mark Remy
Local Man Loves Everything About Running Except for the Running Part

Nutrition, gear, strength training, flexibility, recovery, social aspect all hold great appeal.

Read More
February 26, 2020/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Training
Love, The running part, Tedium, Headphones, Self knowledge, Impatience
February 05, 2020

‘Join Us,’ Strava Users Chant as Man Races to Barricade Door

February 05, 2020/ Mark Remy
‘Join Us,’ Strava Users Chant as Man Races to Barricade Door

Local runner besieged by lurching horde of data fiends.

Read More
February 05, 2020/ Mark Remy/
Training, Satire
Strava, Zombies, Training, Technology, Data
December 11, 2019

Ask Dr. Dumb: Should I Run When I'm Sick?

December 11, 2019/ Mark Remy
Ask Dr. Dumb: Should I Run When I'm Sick?

It’s cold and flu season. Here’s what you need to know.

Read More
December 11, 2019/ Mark Remy/
Training
Sickness, Cold and flu
December 04, 2019

Runner Outsmarts Own Body With Decision to Silence Its Repeated Warnings

December 04, 2019/ Mark Remy
Runner Outsmarts Own Body With Decision to Silence Its Repeated Warnings

“If I can’t feel pain, I can’t get hurt,” man shrewdly concludes.

Read More
December 04, 2019/ Mark Remy/
Training, Injury prevention
Pain, Over the counter pain medication, Advil, Injuries, Injury prevention
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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