Tracksmith Unveils ‘Heritage’ Line of Performance-Enhancing Drugs

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Tracksmith, the New England-based maker of premium running gear and apparel, today introduced its first entry into the sports supplements market—a line of retro-inspired performance-enhancing drugs.

The company’s Heritage line of supplements, according to a news release, “harks back to a simpler time, a time before WADA [the World Anti-Doping Agency] and ‘biological passports,’ a time when runners got pills in charming brown bottles from a so-called team doctor and took them without question.”

“If you’re a dedicated competitor looking for an old-school advantage, this is your Heritage.”

True to its name, the Heritage line shuns such substances as EPO and pseudoephedrine in favor of classic drugs like amphetamines and elixirs with simple ingredients, such as its “1904” product, a blend of brandy, caffeine, and strychnine. The drugs are hand-crafted in small batches, Tracksmith said, in a restored apothecary not far from its Boston headquarters.

The news release described the laboratory as “quaint” and “harking back to a simpler time.”

The six-ounce bottles, with artisan-designed retro labels that also “hark back to a simpler time,” retail for $160 to $180.

A Tracksmith spokesperson said the company may add a series of Heritage injectables, if it can source a suitable hypodermic syringe.

“We’re looking for a real Tracksmith syringe,” said the spokesperson. “Maybe something made of glass, and with those metal rings that you put your fingers through. Maybe in a slim leather case with our logo in the corner. Something that would look good arranged on an oak writing desk next to an antique globe and a fountain pen and a rare first edition of Once a Runner, with the morning light coming in the window just so.”

“You know… a needle that harks back to a simpler time.”