Ask Dr. Dumb: Should I Be Worried About Peeing ‘Blood’?
/
depositphotos.com
Readers, to liberally paraphrase the late, great Douglas Adams: People are weird; runners doubly so. I know this better than most, having managed to milk that weirdness for 10 years now on this very website.
Exhibit 8,042 in the ongoing case of Runners v. Normalcy comes to us via Facebook, where a runner I won’t name posted this in a running group that I also won’t name:
“I’m kind of scared haha.”
Yes! Haha! LOL!
If you’re thinking to yourself, Why on earth would this person ask a Facebook group about this, instead of—oh, I dunno—a DOCTOR?, congratulations. You are not quite as weird as you could be.
If you’re also thinking to yourself, Speaking of doctors, I would love to hear what Dr. Dumb has to say about this, well, congratulations again. It’s your lucky day!
Dumb Runner: Dr. Dumb, thank you for joining us.
Dr. Dumb: You’re welcome. Always happy to chat about bodily fluids.
Let’s start with the basics. Should this person be worried that she’s peeing “blood” after every run?
Nah, it’s probably fine.
Really?
Oh my God, no! Good grief, has everyone gone crazy?
Sometimes I wonder.
I mean, cripes! If you see blood in the toilet bowl? After every run? And it looks weird enough that, when you tell others about it, you feel the need to put the word blood in quotation marks? Yeah, I’d say this merits a wee bit of concern!
A wee bit?
You heard me.
So a visit with a physician might be in order here.
You know what, yeah, it just might.
Why do you think a runner would ask the internet a question like this, rather than asking her doctor?
That is a good question, and I just don’t know. Maybe she doesn’t have the energy to call her doctor, because her iron levels are dangerously low, on account of all the blood she’s been flushing down the toilet.
Other than blood, or “blood,” what are some other warning signs that runners should watch for, urine-wise?
I’m not a urologist, but I would say anything out of the ordinary warrants special attention, especially if it persists over days or weeks, or is accompanied by pain.
For instance?
For instance, if your urethra makes a sound like a trombone every time you pee. Or if your pee creates a layer of foam in the toilet, with an artsy design in the middle, like a barista would make. Or if your urine comes out thicker than usual, like toothpaste.
Or tomato paste?
Or tomato paste, yes.
This might sound weird, but I get the sense there’s an obscure movie line related to this topic that you’d like to share.
You’re right. There is. It’s from 1989’s “Fletch Lives,” a comedy/mystery starring Chevy Chase in the titular role, an affable newspaper reporter trying to untangle a story involving an inherited southern estate, toxic waste, and various colorful characters.
And the line is … ?
“I’ve been spitting up blood, pissing blood …”
In the movie, is Fletch a runner?
No.
Fascinating. Doctor, thanks once more for your time.
I go through five of these suits a day!
