Semiconscious Woman Makes Strong Case for Skipping Morning Run
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A local runner presented herself a convincing case for skipping a morning run early today, Dumb Runner has learned, despite being in a semiconscious state.
Mary Costa, 44, reached the decision while lying in bed around 5:30 a.m., shortly after her alarm roused her from a deep sleep. She had set the alarm with the intention of heading out for a run at 5:45 before returning home to prepare for work, according to a source who requested anonymity.
“Uh,” said a disoriented Costa, who had been up until almost 11:30 p.m. the previous night. “Mmmmm.”
Costa turned the alarm off, groaned once more, stared at her bedroom wall, then fell back asleep—all in a matter of moments.
“She never attained full consciousness,” said the source. “Yet even in that foggy, liminal space between sleep and wakefulness, she was able to build a strong enough case for skipping the run and staying in bed.”
“It was very impressive.”
The source, who has intimate knowledge of Costa’s thought processes after a years-long relationship with her, guessed that the avid runner had used a variation of the “grand scheme” argument to justify her choice.
“You know, like, ‘in the grand scheme of things, does it really matter whether I do this one little run or not?’,” the source said. “That sort of thing.”
“Clearly, for her, the answer was no—it did not matter.”
Reached for comment later in the morning, Costa described her bed as “so cozy.”
