Local Misogynist Fed Up With Trying to Harass Female Runners Through Face Mask
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A local woman-hating jackass said today he’s “had it up to here” with measures put in place to slow the spread of coronavirus, complaining that his face mask makes it nearly impossible to verbally assault female runners and pedestrians.
“This is ridiculous,” said Carl Switzer, a software developer and longtime misogynist. “I can hardly breathe in this thing, much less demean random women in any meaningful way.”
“For one thing, I look like a clown. For another, the fabric muffles my voice. Half the time (the victims) can’t even understand what I’m saying.”
Citing one recent example, Switzer said he was driving to a nearby drugstore when he spotted a woman, also in a face mask, running on the other side of the street.
“I shouted at her, and it sounded like I was talking through a pillow,” he said. “I don’t think she heard anything at all. Just kept running.”
Social distancing measures add to the problem.
“I saw this study that said runners can spit the virus, like, 30 feet or something,” Switzer said, “so I’m definitely keeping my distance. Which is hard. I mean, you ever try making yourself feel big by screaming a vulgar threat at a woman from 30 feet away? It’s pointless.”
As a result, Switzer said, he’s nearly given up harassing women on the street.
“I guess I’ll have to stick to doing it online for now,” he said. “Thank God for Twitter, I guess, but it’s just not the same.”
“This whole situation just sucks.”
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