Local Man Cancels Marathon in Backyard, Refuses to Give Self Refund
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A local man abruptly canceled the marathon he’d planned to run in his backyard, then refused to issue himself a refund, Dumb Runner has learned.
Chuck Noland, 38, a longtime runner, had planned the solo event after his scheduled spring race, the Wilsonville Marathon, was canceled due to the coronavirus pandemic.
“I’d seen these stories about other runners doing their own marathons in their yards or even on balconies and stuff,” said Noland. “And I’d done all the training anyway. So I figured, Hey, that’s a fun idea. I could do that.”
Noland marked out a loop in his yard, measured it at 642 feet, and figured he’d need to run 216 laps to get to the full marathon distance, 26.2 miles. He ordered jugs of Gatorade; bananas and bagels for the finish; cowbells for his partner and their two young children; and even an inflatable finish line arch.
“And then,” said Noland, “it got canceled.”
That happened just one week before race day, when Noland stood before his bathroom mirror and announced that the event was off, citing lack of interest. He also said that he would not be offering refunds.
“What?” he told his reflection. “That’s bullshit!”
Noland countered that the terms and conditions were clearly spelled out in the handwritten waiver that he’d drafted and signed.
“Much of the cost of staging an event like this comes in the form of food, hydration, and equipment rentals, and logistics,” he said to the mirror. “I’ve already spent that money.”
Noland offered himself a guaranteed spot in any future backyard marathon.
“Great,” he replied, sarcastically. “Yeah, no thank you.”
Sources said Noland spent nearly 20 minutes arguing in front of the mirror before throwing up his hands and walking away.
At last report, Noland was on his laptop filing a complaint against himself with the Better Business Bureau.
