High-Fiving Runners Apparently Have Lost Their Goddamn Minds
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Two runners meeting for a run Tuesday greeted each other with a high-five, Dumb Runner has learned, apparently because they have lost their goddamn minds.
James Carrey, 27, and Danielle Jeffries, 25, met at a local park for a prearranged run trail around 8 a.m., sources said. Carrey arrived first; Jeffries showed up minutes later. As she approached, Jeffries raised her hand to wave hello.
When Carrey raised his own hand, sources said, Jeffries laughed and obliged him with a high-five, slapping her palm against his, presumably because they are both total lunatics untethered to anything even remotely resembling our shared objective reality.
Not everyone agrees it’s that simple, however.
“It’s possible there’s another explanation,” said Lauren Holly, a clinical psychologist in Aspen, Colorado, and author of Harebrained: Why Dumb People Do Dumber Things. “For instance, these two may have just ended a monthlong silent meditation retreat in the desert with no access to phones, computers, television, radio, or any other form of media or communication whatsoever.”
Or not, she said.
“I can’t diagnose anyone remotely,” Holly said. “But it sure sounds likely to me that these two are just grade-A numbskulls.”
