Goth Marathoner Struggles to Reconcile Joy of Running With Aesthetic of Sullen, Macabre Darkness
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Photo by Dominik Day on Unsplash
A local runner is having a hard time reconciling the joyful effects of her running habit with the dark and sullen nature of the goth lifestyle that she’s adopted, Dumb Runner has learned.
Esther Summerson, 28, a four-time marathon finisher, has been an avid runner for about six years; she has also been a self-described “goth” for almost as long, identifying with a subculture known for black clothing, makeup, and hair; dark, mournful music; and a general aura of listlessness.
Those dual identities, sources said, often seem at odds.
“I’ve known Esther for years, and I know she struggles with this,” said one source, who requested anonymity. “She legit loves running, which is great—it’s done wonders for her, physically as well as mentally—but she also tries to maintain a certain aesthetic, with the goth stuff.”
“So one on hand, she’s got that ‘runner’s high’ thing happening, and on the other, a facade of mournful bleakness,” they added. “It creates a real dissonance for her.”
Summerson has tried hard to blend the two lifestyles, the source said, with mixed results.
“I know she tries to make her running more goth,” they said. “Like, she’ll wear all black running gear, when she can, and she’ll definitely choose her music accordingly—lots of Bauhaus, the Damned, early Cure, that sort of stuff.”
“Still, with two things so fundamentally different, it’s a challenge,” they said. “I mean, it’s hard to maintain an image of macabre indifference to the inherent cruelty of life when you’re zipping along through a park or whatever and pumped full of endorphins.”
“Black lipstick can only do so much.”
It’s all been hard for Summerson, the source said—but there is one silver lining.
“Esther is the only runner I know who actually likes race photos where she looks miserable.”
