Black-Clad Runner Emerges From Inky Predawn Darkness Like Some Sort of Goddamn Navy SEAL
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istockphoto.com
A runner dressed head to toe in black materialized in the predawn darkness today “like some sort of goddamned Navy SEAL,” Dumb Runner has learned, bewildering at least one local resident.
The unidentified runner, who also lacked any lights or reflective material, appeared around 6 a.m., said Syd Hoff, who was walking his dog, Sammy, at the time.
“I’m out there with my coffee, half asleep, waiting for Sammy to do his business, when all of a sudden I sense some movement,” Hoff said. “ I swing my flashlight around and there’s this person, dressed all in black, I guess out for a run.”
The shadowy figure loped by without a word then disappeared once more, Hoff reported, again becoming one with the inky blackness.
The incident didn’t frighten him, he said, but he did find it puzzling.
“I get having to run early, maybe before work or whatever,” he said. “But who goes out in the dark, on streets and roads, dressed entirely in black, with nothing reflective and no lights or anything, like some sort of goddamned Navy SEAL?”
Hoff noted that his dog, a dachshund, was wearing a jacket with reflective trim and a flashing green collar, making him significantly more visible than the runner.
“I wish (the runner) luck on her mission,” he said. “Whatever it is.”
