GUEST OPINION: You Can’t Outrun a Bad Diet, Which Is Why I Also Bike

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Editor's Note: The following is a guest column and does not reflect the views of Dumb Runner. 

By GENEVIEVE GUIDROZ 
Local Runner 

Many runners believe that they can eat anything they want, all the time, consequence-free, simply because they run a lot. These are the folks who repeat the old line, “if the furnace is hot enough, it will burn anything.”

But the truth is, you can’t outrun a bad diet. Which is why, in addition to being an avid runner, I also bike.

I might run 3 miles on a Monday, 5 miles on Thursday, and another 5 miles on Saturday; during that same week, I’ll bike 10 or 15 miles on Tuesday and then do a longer ride, maybe 30 miles or so, on Sunday.

Because of this two-pronged approach, I really can eat anything I want. It’s awesome!

And when I say “anything,” I do mean anything. My diet is garbage. A typical breakfast, for me, might be a can of Red Bull and cookies. For lunch, a big-ass sandwich—extra cheese and mayo, please!—with a bag of Doritos. Dinner might be a green salad with 4 ounces of skinless grilled chicken breast.

Ha ha! Just kidding! Dinner is pizza. The kind with cheese stuffed inside the crust. And for a bedtime snack, ice cream. Or any pizza that’s left over. Or both.

This sort of diet would spell certain doom for most people—including runners. But not for me, a runner and a cyclist. For me, it’s merely fuel. My body simply doesn’t have time to absorb the “bad” parts of any food I eat, because it’s constantly dealing with the energy needs of someone who runs and bikes.

Do you remember that Vader vs. Luke fight scene in “The Empire Strikes Back,” where an overwhelmed Luke is being battered by flying metal and stuff, and he’s really on the ropes, barely hanging on, swinging at the debris, and missing, with his lightsaber? That flying debris is the crap I eat every day. The Force, which Vader is using to hurl it, is my dual running-and-biking habit.

I’m not sure what Luke represents in this analogy. I guess he’s whatever part of my body is responsible for extracting the harmful bits of the ice cream and Doritos and everything. He just can’t do it.

Sorry, Luke!

I could go on, but now I want to go watch “The Empire Strikes Back” with a Party Size bag of Hershey’s Kisses. I’ve gotta fuel up for my run tomorrow. Or will it be a bike ride?

My body just doesn’t know!

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