Boston Marathon Organizers Will Ask Spectators This Year to Get Shitfaced at Least 6 Feet Apart
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Organizers of the Boston Marathon today said they will ask spectators at this year’s race to get shitfaced at least six feet apart—one of several new protocols designed to limit the spread of the coronavirus.
The 2021 Boston Marathon, which normally would be held on Patriots Day in April, is scheduled for Monday, October 11.
“For us, safety is paramount,” said Tom Scholz, a spokesman for the Boston Athletic Association. “Not just for Boston Marathon participants and race staff, but for the hundreds of thousands of folks who turn out each year to cheer our runners on while drinking beer from plastic cups and growing increasingly loud and inebriated.”
“For that reason, we will urge spectators this fall to get shitfaced at least six feet apart,” he said. “We thank these boisterous lushes in advance for their cooperation.”
The B.A.A. announced a handful of other safety-minded changes for 2021, as well. Among them:
Runners in Hopkinton’s starting corrals must wear masks while urinating on the pavement.
To discourage heavy breathing—and therefore the possible spread of the virus—runners will be asked to run “not too hard.”
At Wellesley College, runners will be restricted to kissing only those students who are members of their immediate family.
Reservations will be required at porta-potties along the course.
Runners will be discouraged from accepting any beverage from a shitfaced spectator.
At the finish line, drones will drape finisher’s medals around runners’ necks.
Safety goggles will be required at the finish line. (See above.)
“We’re confident that Boston Marathon runners and spectators alike will come together to make this year’s race as safe as possible,” said Scholz, the B.A.A. spokesman. “And we look forward to seeing you all in October.”
