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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

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December 13, 2017

Man Who Hasn't Visited Road Runner Sports Since 2012 Delighted to Discover He's Been a VIP for Past 5 Years

December 13, 2017/ Mark Remy
Man Who Hasn't Visited Road Runner Sports Since 2012 Delighted to Discover He's Been a VIP for Past 5 Years

Mysterious charge on credit card statement yields pleasant surprise.

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December 13, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Gear
VIP, Credit cards, Road Runner Sports
December 06, 2017

CamelBak Rolls Out Limited-Edition Packs Made of Real Camel

December 06, 2017/ Mark Remy
CamelBak Rolls Out Limited-Edition Packs Made of Real Camel

Company "excited to introduce a pack that, more than any other, is true to the CamelBak name."

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December 06, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Gear, Satire
Hydration, Camelbak, New gear, Camels
December 04, 2017

Archaeologists Unearth Ancient Running Watch

December 04, 2017/ Mark Remy
Archaeologists Unearth Ancient Running Watch

Carbon dating will determine age of well-preserved artifact.

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December 04, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Gear, Satire
Watches, Timex Ironman, Archaeology
December 03, 2017

Study: New Nike Shoe Boosts Nike Profit Margin by 20%

December 03, 2017/ Mark Remy
Nike-Zoom-Vaporfly-4percent_8_native_1600.jpg
December 03, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Gear, Satire
Nike

Mark Remy

Mark Remy is a writer and runner living in Portland, Oregon. Get to know him!

November 29, 2017

Local Runner Not Buying That Whole 'Be Visible' Thing

November 29, 2017/ Mark Remy
Local Runner Not Buying That Whole 'Be Visible' Thing

Woman dressed all in black draws praise for her bold stance.

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November 29, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Gear, Satire
Visibility, Nighttime running, Darkness, Safety
November 27, 2017

The 2017 Dumb Runner Holiday Gift Guide

November 27, 2017/ Mark Remy
The 2017 Dumb Runner Holiday Gift Guide

Seven fun ideas, from T-shirts to personalized books, starting at just 5 bucks.

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November 27, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Gifts, Gear
Holiday gifts, Books, Merch, Shirts
November 07, 2017

Advertisement for Product Adjacent to Article About Product

November 07, 2017/ Mark Remy
Advertisement for Product Adjacent to Article About Product

"We are delighted by this happy coincidence," says gear maker.

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November 07, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Gear, Satire
Jackets, Gear, New gear, Objectivity, Editorial integrity, Ethics
October 11, 2017

'Running Is Great Because It's So Simple,' Says Guy Wearing $1,170 Worth of Gear

October 11, 2017/ Mark Remy
'Running Is Great Because It's So Simple,' Says Guy Wearing $1,170 Worth of Gear

"You don't need a lot of stuff," declares local runner.

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October 11, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Gear, Satire
Gear, Gadgets, Cognitive dissonance
July 25, 2017

Under Armour Rolls Out 'Performance Diapers' for Runners

July 25, 2017/ Mark Remy
Under Armour Rolls Out 'Performance Diapers' for Runners

Company calls its new AbsorBrief® "a game changer."

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July 25, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Gear, Satire
Diapers, Under Armour, Poo, Pee, Porta potty
June 11, 2017

The Dumbest Father's Day Gifts for 7 Types of Runners

June 11, 2017/ Mark Remy
The Dumbest Father's Day Gifts for 7 Types of Runners

That thing you got Dad last year? Yeah, he told us he hated it. This year, dumb it down.

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June 11, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Gear, Satire
Gift for runners, Father's Day, Doping
April 16, 2017

Special-Edition Boston Shoe Obviously Just Regular Shoe with BOSTON Written On It

April 16, 2017/ Mark Remy
Special-Edition Boston Shoe Obviously Just Regular Shoe with BOSTON Written On It

"You can actually smudge the letters with your finger."

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April 16, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Gear
Boston Marathon, Running shoes
March 28, 2017

New App Reminds Runners That Other Human Beings Exist

March 28, 2017/ Mark Remy
New App Reminds Runners That Other Human Beings Exist

"Really takes the guesswork out" of displaying common decency, users say.

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March 28, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Gear
Apple, Watches, New gear, Racing, Marathon
March 12, 2017

Acme Unveils Sub-2:00 Marathon Shoe

March 12, 2017/ Mark Remy
Acme Unveils Sub-2:00 Marathon Shoe

A company known for anvils and giant magnets goes up against Nike and Adidas.

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March 12, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Gear
2:00 hour marathon, Nike, Running shoes, Acme, Looney Tunes
February 28, 2017

A Runner's Guide to Running Socks for Runners

February 28, 2017/ Mark Remy
A Runner's Guide to Running Socks for Runners

Socks are simple, right? Wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

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February 28, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Gear, Satire
Socks, Gear, Hunting, Product differentiation
February 19, 2017

Man Walks Around Home Depot in Tights Like It's Perfectly Normal

February 19, 2017/ Mark Remy
Man Walks Around Home Depot in Tights Like It's Perfectly Normal

"Just waltzed right in like he owned the place," an employee said.

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February 19, 2017/ Mark Remy/
Gear, Satire
Activewear, Tights, Home Depot
December 14, 2016

Mystery Woman Emerges From Pond on Nike Campus, Warns Against 2-Hour Marathon Quest

December 14, 2016/ Mark Remy
Mystery Woman Emerges From Pond on Nike Campus, Warns Against 2-Hour Marathon Quest

Wild-eyed doomsayer says 2-hour barrier must not be breached.

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December 14, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Gear
Nike, Marathon, 2:00 hour marathon, Hubris
November 28, 2016

New Product for Runners Serves No Apparent Purpose

November 28, 2016/ Mark Remy
New Product for Runners Serves No Apparent Purpose

The RunStrap is quickly becoming the season's hottest gift.

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November 28, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Satire, Gear
New gear, Gear for new runners, RunStrap
November 14, 2016

Photo of Runner's Gear Includes Cheese Grater for Some Reason

November 14, 2016/ Mark Remy
Photo of Runner's Gear Includes Cheese Grater for Some Reason

"Do you use it while you're running?" asks one perplexed runner. 

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November 14, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Gear, Satire
Gear for new runners, Cheese grater
September 11, 2016

Apple Recalls 15,000 Limited-Edition Trump Watches

September 11, 2016/ Mark Remy
Apple Recalls 15,000 Limited-Edition Trump Watches

Customers who expected motivation are getting insults instead.

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September 11, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Gear, Satire
Trump, Apple, Watches
September 07, 2016

How to Buy Running Shoes

September 07, 2016/ Mark Remy
How to Buy Running Shoes

It can be a paralyzing experience. But it doesn't have to be.

Read More
September 07, 2016/ Mark Remy/
Gear, Satire
Running shoes, Specialty running stores
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Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com

DumbRunner.com is a website for runners who enjoy laughter and pie, from longtime writer and marathoner Mark Remy. Dumb Runner offers humor, insight, and 100% B.S.-free advice for runners of all abilities.

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