BREAKING: Smartwatch Tracks Runner’s Heart Breaking in Real Time

BREAKING: Smartwatch Tracks Runner’s Heart Breaking in Real Time

Motivation News
Dumb Runner Poster #260
Dumb Runner Poster #260

Make preparations for your foot-race!

Gear News
‘Muffins Not Included,’ Nathan Stresses in Description of New Muffin Belt
‘Muffins Not Included,’ Nathan Stresses in Description of New Muffin Belt

Clarification follows torrent of customer complaints.

Garmin Actively Trying to Break Up Local Runner’s Relationship
Garmin Actively Trying to Break Up Local Runner’s Relationship

Watch is weirdly invested in man’s love life.

Boston Marathon Unveils Limited-Edition 'Members Only' 2026 Jacket
Boston Marathon Unveils Limited-Edition 'Members Only' 2026 Jacket

Iconic ‘80s brand called a “natural choice” for exclusive race.

Ask Dr. Dumb: My Running Shoes Make Embarrassing Noises; Should I Sue?
Ask Dr. Dumb: My Running Shoes Make Embarrassing Noises; Should I Sue?

If you care about justice, yes.

Featured
Local Man Runs Mainly to Prepare for Possibility That He May Someday Be Released on Remote Private Island and Hunted for Sport
Local Man Runs Mainly to Prepare for Possibility That He May Someday Be Released on Remote Private Island and Hunted for Sport

General health and fitness take a backseat to surviving hypothetical scenario.

Dumb Runner Illustrated #145: ‘Exclusive’
Dumb Runner Illustrated #145: ‘Exclusive’

Sometimes, running is bad for your heart.

Marathon Website Fails to Mention Shitty 7-Mile Stretch of Course on Remote Multi-Use Path
Marathon Website Fails to Mention Shitty 7-Mile Stretch of Course on Remote Multi-Use Path

Desolate out-and-back is conspicuously absent from promotional photos.

Report: 70% of Partner Stretches Lead to Super-Hot Sex
Report: 70% of Partner Stretches Lead to Super-Hot Sex

Study authors surprised by sexy findings.

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