BREAKING: In Sponsored Post, FDA Calls GU Energy Chews Unsafe For Anyone Allergic to Outrageously Delicious Flavors

BREAKING: In Sponsored Post, FDA Calls GU Energy Chews Unsafe For Anyone Allergic to Outrageously Delicious Flavors

Motivation News
Dumb Runner Poster #261
Dumb Runner Poster #261

Live in the present perfect infinitive.

Running News from DumbRunner.com
Cryptic Street Sign Leaves Local Motorist Baffled
Cryptic Street Sign Leaves Local Motorist Baffled

Driver puzzles over meaning of all-caps message as he rolls through red light.

New Sign at Boston Nike Store Somehow Makes Things Worse
New Sign at Boston Nike Store Somehow Makes Things Worse

“How could we be anti-walker?” brand spokesperson says.

Dumb Runner Illustrated #151: ‘Mallet’
Dumb Runner Illustrated #151: ‘Mallet’

Terrible photos are available for a small additional fee.

Boston Marathon Says Runners Who End Race at Heartbreak Hill Can Still Get Finisher’s Medal
Boston Marathon Says Runners Who End Race at Heartbreak Hill Can Still Get Finisher’s Medal

Organizers say decision is meant to keep runners safe.

Featured
New ‘10/20/40’ Workout Involves Sprinting for 10 Seconds, Jogging for 20 Seconds, Re-examining Your Life for 40 Seconds
New ‘10/20/40’ Workout Involves Sprinting for 10 Seconds, Jogging for 20 Seconds, Re-examining Your Life for 40 Seconds

Runners praise combination of intense cardio, sober self-reflection.

Injured Runner Experiences All 5 Stages of Grief During Single Run
Injured Runner Experiences All 5 Stages of Grief During Single Run

Local man goes from denial to acceptance in record time.

Everything Going Well in Days Leading Up to Marathon, Local Runner Says—a Little TOO Well
Everything Going Well in Days Leading Up to Marathon, Local Runner Says—a Little TOO Well

Eerie calm leaves man deeply unsettled.

Sick Freak Actually Smiling on Treadmill
Sick Freak Actually Smiling on Treadmill

Fellow gymgoers advised to give weirdo wide berth, avoid eye contact.

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