Local Runner Works Story of Shitting Self in Marathon Into Yet Another Conversation
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A local runner who defecated midrun during a marathon years ago managed to weave that story into a casual conversation yesterday, Dumb Runner has learned—a feat he’s performed “probably a hundred times” before.
Victor Mills, 38, related the anecdote shortly after meeting a new coworker, sources said. The coworker, an unnamed woman not a runner herself, was nonplussed, they said.
The defecation story came toward the end of the pair’s short chat in their workplace, the sources noted, and clearly caught the woman off guard.
“It was a pretty bland, normal conversation up to that point,” said one witness, who asked to remain anonymous. “You know—‘nice to meet you, welcome aboard,’ that sort of thing.”
Then, the witness said, things “got weird.”
“Victor mentioned that he was a runner—I can’t remember how that happened, exactly, he has a knack for bringing everything back to running—and then the next thing you know, he’s saying something like, ‘Yeah, it’s great, except for when I poop myself in a race, ha ha. Seriously, that happened to me once, crap streaming right down my leg.’”
“[The coworker] just stood there,” the witness said. “And I’m thinking, Dude, what the fuck?”
The conversation ended abruptly after that, sources said, as the woman excused herself and walked away.
“And this was not the first time he’s done that,” the witness said. “He’s told that story probably a hundred times before, in all sorts of settings and with all sorts of people.”
“I heard he once worked it into a eulogy at his uncle’s funeral,” they said. “No joke.”
Reached for comment, Mills told Dumb Runner that he did indeed defecate in his shorts during a marathon.
“It’s super common,” he said. “You should do a story on it.”
