Report: Weeping Runner Has Either Run Too Far, or Not Far Enough
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A local runner on a park bench is softly crying to herself, Dumb Runner has learned—possibly because she has run too far. Or not quite far enough.
The unidentified woman, dressed in cold-weather running gear, has been on the bench for at least 10 minutes, sources said, head down and gently weeping. It remains unclear whether she has just completed her run, hasn’t yet begun, or is taking a break midway through.
About a dozen passersby have seen the woman, the sources added, though none has approached her or asked whether they could help. As a result, onlookers could only speculate as to why she’s upset.
“My best guess is that she ran farther than she should have, and either bonked really hard or hurt herself somehow, or both,” said one source, himself a runner. “I mean, I’ve been there.”
After a brief pause, the source continued.
“Or, I guess, maybe she hasn’t run far enough, you know?” he said.
“Like, maybe she’s in a bad place, mentally or emotionally, and was out for a run to work through some stuff, and she realized she would have to run a lot more if she wanted to get there?”
“Who knows, man,” he added.
At last report, the woman had curled up into the fetal position and a passing stranger bent over to leave a five-dollar bill at her feet.
