Yet More Terrible Jokes for Runners

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Two marathoners walk into a bar, one dressed as a hamburger and the other wearing a hot dog costume.
"Sorry," the bartender says. "We don't serve food here."
So they decide to go somewhere else, because they just finished a marathon and they're really hungry.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Footwear.
Footwear who?
Foot where I get blister!

What do you call a runner on a bicycle?
A cyclist.

Did you hear about the mayoral candidate who's campaigning on an anti-car platform? She's running against traffic.

What does a vampire eat the night before a marathon?
Pasta. And blood oranges! But mostly pasta.

Did you hear about the runner who quit her marathon at the 26-mile marker? She missed the point, too.

What do you call a beer miler with a weak stomach? Ralph.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
A shoe.
A shoe who?
Gesundheit!

What did the psychic tell the race volunteer when she picked up her shirt at the expo?
“I’m a medium.”

Did you hear about the massage therapist who lost his license? He was rubbing people the wrong way.

What did the specialty running store owner say to the customer who tried on a pair of shoes before leaving to order them online?
Nothing. He was too busy filing for bankruptcy.

I’m reading this book about treadmills, but I don’t think I’ll finish. It’s not really going anywhere.