We're sorry to shout. But today is a very exciting day. Because today we reintroduce Ask Dr. Dumb, a column that we launched with some fanfare back in February. (Please note that Ask Dr. Dumb is not to be confused with Ask Dumb Runner. Totally separate things.)
After that initial column, titled How Can I Avoid Running Injuries?, we revisited Dr. Dumb three times in March and April. (Did Nike Bribe Kenyan Officials?; Are Juice Cleanses Really Worthless?; Should Runners Eat Peeps?) (Answers: Maybe; No; Not if you're smart.)
Then we just stopped publishing Ask Dr. Dumb. Weird, right?
Anyway, that's all behind us. Today we welcome Dr. Dumb back with open arms, no questions asked. And not a moment too soon, because today's topic is:
"Jogging" and sex.
This is a biggie, so let's start nice and slow.
Dumb Runner: Dr. Dumb, welcome back.
Dr. Dumb: Thank you.
Today's topic is "Jogging" and sex, and—
Wait. Why did you just make air-quotes around the word jogging?
We will tell you why. Because today's topic is inspired by a recent Craigslist Personals ad that we stumbled across.
"Stumbled across." Right.
The subject line of this ad was, and we quote: I need a "jogging" partner (Demver)
Where the hell is Demver?
We believe it's somewhere near Colorado Sprimgs.
Anyway, you soon learn why the word "jogging" is in quotation marks when you read the ad itself.
Do you have a screen grab of the ad, in case it gets deleted?
Yes. And here it is. (Click to enlarge.)
Our thoughts exactly. So our first question to you, Dr. Dumb, is this: Just how common is this sort of thing?
Screen grabs? Very common. Easy, too. On a Mac you just hit SHIFT-COMMAND-4, and—
No. We mean "jogging."
Jogging? Or "jogging"?
It's quite rare, if my own experience is any indication. I can count on one hand the number of times I've stopped during a run to have sex in a wooded area with a semi-anonymous partner.
So you've actually done this?
Yeah. Just not very often.
How does something like this come to happen?
Well, the guy in the ad nails it, as guys on Craigslist usually do. You post something online then sit back and wait for replies to roll in. It helps if you mention that you're married and in "not great" shape. Also if you suggest meeting this stranger at 5 a.m. in a wooded area. After that, you just sit back and wait for the responses to roll in.
Would this be a good place to make a Body Glide joke?
Good a place as any.
In your experience, does "talking lead to touching, and touching lead to sex"?
Oh yes. This is why I'm very careful who I talk to.
Well, Dr. Dumb, thank you for your "time."