Hello, and welcome to Friday. Here's your Dumb Runner weekend briefing.
- Good news for female runners: When—not "if"—running causes your uterus to fall out, now you can just get a new one. The New York Times has the story.
- Why are writers so often runners? The Atlantic has some thoughts. (WARNING: Metaphors ahead.)
- Speaking of which: Can you help a novelist out with his book? His main character is a jogger, see, and she gets hit by a car, and... well, he's seeking medical opinions, but maybe he could use some running advice as well.
- An Aussie man got illegal stock tips from his "jogging buddy." So says a Sydney Morning Herald article that goes on to cite the Australian Securities and Investments Commission—i.e., ASIC. Readers, we are not making this up.
- Your brain has its own odometer and stopwatch, according to some eggheads at Boston University. Don't be alarmed.
- That pinkie toe you're so fond of? Yeah. Apparently, one of these days, it might just fall off. Really, says Gizmodo. And nobody knows why.
- Not even remotely related to running, but I don't care: A New York jury has acquitted 80-year-old Vincent Asaro on charges related to the 1978 Lufthansa heist, as portrayed in the movie Goodfellas. Upon hearing the verdict, Asarao "slammed his fist on the defense table and kissed one of his lawyers on the lips four times." OHHHH... JIMMY!
- My large penis is a curse. (The shorts pictured above: Not an option.)
Oh, also: A bulldog named Otto has set a world record for "longest human tunnel traveled through by a skate-boarding dog."
Really, Starbucks? "Mini Snowman Doughnuts"? Or... CHOCO-SECULAR SATAN RINGS?
Seriously. I'm asking. Because if it's the latter, these are way overpriced. I know a place where I can get Satan Rings for 10 bucks a dozen.
See you next week.