Shorts: Friday, December 5, 2015

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Hello, and welcome to Friday. Before we dive in to the usual nonsense, an announcement:

After today, we will no longer publish "Shorts" here every Friday. (We know, we know—after a stunning four-week run. Has it really been that long?) That is the bad news.

The good news is, we will instead deliver this same content—weird and funny links, videos, photos, and other amusing tidbits—via our weekly newsletter, which will mail early each Friday morning. In short: Same stuff, different delivery method. 

If you aren't already signed up for the Dumb Runner newsletter, you can do so right here: 

(We won't spam you or sell your info—we promise.)

Here's your Dumb Runner weekend briefing.

NUTRITION NEWS

• In a new study that will surprise exactly zero runners—have they not seen our Motivation page?—researchers say that exercise may affect alcohol consumption. 
• Televangelist Jim Bakker—remember him?—is selling emergency food supplies, in anticipation of Rapture. NPR's food blog, The Salt, ordered his 50-Day Sampler Bucket and taste-tested some of the items. Verdict: You may prefer a slow, painful death.

"STUFF DUMB RUNNER IS EAGERLY AWAITING" NEWS

• Jon Dunham's documentary on the Boston Marathon, a work in progress that just got a major boost thanks to funding from Marathon sponsor John Hancock. Expect the finished product late next year. If Mr. Dunham's name sounds familiar, that's because he's the man behind the excellent documentaries Spirit of the Marathon and Spirit of the Marathon II. 

THE WEEK IN JOGGING

• A Florida a jogger ran(?) into a burning house to rescue the occupants. Hooray for Florida jogger!

MISCELLANEOUS

• This year's Bad Sex in Fiction award, announced Tuesday, went to Morrissey. The former Smiths frontman won the dubious honor for sex scenes in his novel List of the Lost, "the story of four Boston relay runners(!!!) who are cursed by an old man in the woods." Here is the passage in question:

At this, Eliza and Ezra rolled together into one giggling snowball of full-figured copulation, screaming and shouting as they playfully bit and pulled at each other in a dangerous and clamorous rollercoaster coil of sexually violent rotation with Eliza’s breasts barrel-rolled across Ezra’s howling mouth and the pained frenzy of his bulbous salutation extenuating his excitement as it whacked and smacked its way into every muscle of Eliza’s body except for the otherwise central zone.

• Here's what happens when a Roomba meets a pile of dog poo on the floor. Just in case you've been wondering. (Thanks, Cindy Featherston.)
• Could this be the coolest bike bridge never built?

NEW & NOTABLE ON DUMBRUNNER.COM...

• Ask Dumb Runner: My Dog Gets Bored on Runs; How Can I Keep Her Interested?
• Ask Dumb Runner: Do I Need a Fancy New Running Watch?
• Hey, did you know there's an official Dumb Runner pint glass? Well, there is. Check it out.

And then there's this...

Have a great weekend.