People, today we take the unprecedented step of "reviewing" something that we haven't actually tried... yet. (We fully intend to call these in ASAP and test them rigorously; stay tuned for that.)
Why? Because we have stumbled across a product that demands such treatment. That product is called Nadkins—Male Jewels Refresher Towelettes.
The product is targeted toward men.
Here is how you use Nadkins:
1. Become "not fresh" in the front/bottom-ish area of your underpants. How you achieve this is up to you.
2. Procure a Nadkins packet, open it, and remove your Nadkin.
3. Using the Nadkin, wipe the area feeling not fresh.
4. Dispose of the Nadkin and its packaging, wash your hands, and enjoy the feelings of confidence now emanating from your crotch.
You will want to do all of this in a private setting. Just FYI.
As noted above, I have not yet tried this product myself. But with ingredients like "Aloe Vera, Allantoin and Vitamin E" and a "subtle, pleasing citrus-mint fragrance," how can these things not be a delight to use?
Here is how I imagine I will feel immediately before trying my first Nadkin:
And immediately after:
I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, Why didn't I think of that? Well, I cannot answer that question.
I know what else you're thinking—Gosh, wouldn't these things would be perfect for those times I drive to do a run, especially when it's really hot and humid, then have to get back in my car afterward to drive home but pause because DAMN, guys, my shorts?
The answer to that is "yes."
Watch this space for a full Dumb Runner review, coming soon. Meantime, here is a video of some woman reading a Huffington Post article about Nadkins, word-for-word, into her web cam. Naturally.