INSPIRATION ALERT! This Li’l Rhinovirus Singlehandedly Ruined Someone’s Entire Marathon
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Thomas Splettstoesser, wikipedia/creative commons
A particle just 30 nanometers wide wrecked a full-grown man’s marathon over the weekend, Dumb Runner has learned—an inspirational feat that impressed even the man himself.
Sources said the particle in question was a rhinovirus, “the most common viral infectious agent in humans,” according to Wikipedia, and “the predominant cause of the common cold.” It remains unclear exactly when and how the virus infected the man, an avid runner in his 30s, though the marathon expo is the main suspect.
The runner, who asked to remain anonymous, said his training had gone well leading up to Sunday’s race, but “it all went to shit” when he came down with a bad cold the day before.
“I’d followed my training plan to the letter, nailed my taper, felt great going into the weekend,” he said. “And then, on Saturday, bam!—I feel like crap.”
With symptoms including a sore throat, runny nose, and general malaise, the man said, he knew his race day goals were kaput, all due to a microscopic virus.
He was correct. After napping for much of the day Saturday and sleeping poorly that night due to his sore throat and a nagging cough, the man said, he struggled to finish his marathon in 4 hours 48 minutes—nearly an hour longer than his goal time.
“I was not happy, of course,” he said. “Still, you’ve gotta hand it to the rhinovirus. That little guy really punches above his weight.”
The rhinovirus could not be reached for comment.
