Guys, are you tired of being bored when you run?
The editors at Teen Vogue know exactly how you feel, as usual. They recently published an online article titled 4 Cardio Workouts That Are Way More Exciting than Running. By way of setting the stage, they write:
(L)et's be honest: for many of us running is one of the most boring exercises out there. Whether you're outside in your favorite park or on a treadmill, as soon as your Beyoncé or Taylor Swift playlist ends, you're probably ready to throw in the towel.
I KNOW, RIGHT!
Being bored is literally the worst thing ever! NBB (Never Be Bored)—that is the acronym we live by! That and YOLO!
Except, hold up. Not so fast, Teen Vogue. Don't throw in that towel just yet. Running doesn't have to be boring.
We have been running for more than 20 years, including 26 marathons and a whole bunch of other races, and we have discovered plenty of ways to "jazz up" your runs and make them more fun.
Here are five of our favorites, with extra excitement sticks, which is what we call exclamation points, for extra excitement.
1. Run blindfolded!!!
Turn your run from "blasé" to "yay!" with a simple piece of cloth tied around your head. Where are you going? What's directly in front of you? Are the people shouting "Oh my God, look out!" talking to you? Who can say! Ha ha!
Variation: If you don't have a suitable piece of cloth, use a sleep mask or a large bucket.
2. Run with a Roman candle in each hand!!!
Carry fireworks and you'll see stars everywhere you run—day and night! Note that a warning label will probably instruct you not to hold the Roman candles in your hands. These warning labels are boring.
Variation: Swap the Roman candles for road flares, or ferrets.
3. Run right down the middle of a four-lane highway!!!
Whoa! It's hard to be bored with cars, vans, and tractor trailers streaming around you at 70 mph! Pay attention so you don't miss your exit! And remember to run against traffic, for safety!
Variation: For extra excitement, combine this with the blindfold tip.
4. Run while out of your head on crystal meth!!!
Forget the "runner's high." This one is instant, and intense! Crystal meth will turn an ordinary 5-miler into a magical rocket-sled ride to the Horsehead Nebula. It also may induce twitching, angry outbursts, paranoia, dry mouth, and obsessive scratching of your skin. Exciting!
Variation: Try angel dust. PCP.
5. Realize that maybe there is more to life than avoiding boredom at all costs, that a constant need for distraction and instant gratification can and will leave you emotionally and intellectually stunted, that if you fear being alone with your thoughts that much you might benefit from asking yourself why, that perhaps something that seems "boring" can actually be more deeply satisfying than you ever imagined if you're patient enough to push through it, that there could be something incredible awaiting you on the other side, something that could make you a better, healthier, happier human being!!!
Variation: Or, you know, just make a longer playlist.
Good luck, readers. Stay excited!