If you're a runner, you hear lots of nonsense from non-runners. Am I right? Stuff that makes you want to roll your eyes?
Alison Feller knows what I'm talking about. She recently listed 8 Things Every Runner Is Definitely Tired Of Hearing over on Self.com. It's a fine list, including such reliably annoying things as "Running is bad for your knees" and "How many marathons have you done"?
Still, the list struck us as incomplete. Very incomplete, actually. Here at Dumb Runner we can think of at least eight other things that we are way more tired of hearing.
1. "Who are you? What do you want?"
Relax. I just need to use your bathroom.
2. "Um, your card was declined."
"Um..." if you guys hadn't stopped accepting my personal checks, this wouldn't be a problem. Try it again!
3. "Step out of the vehicle, please."
Give me a break—I'm late to meet some friends for a run. Also, my taxes pay your salary.
4. "I think you've had enough."
I'll tell you when I've had enough! Let me talk to the manager. And I'll tell you when I've had enough!
5. "Some penicillin should clear this up."
Let's hope so, doc. I'm starting to worry my body is building up a resistance.
6. "Sir, some of our other diners are beginning to feel uncomfortable."
How is that my problem? You'd think they've never seen a man's nipples before. Hey, while you're here—could I see the dessert cart?
7. "How did you get past my receptionist?"
Ha ha. Let's just say I "ignored her protestations."
8. "Come on! I can see your junk!"
Oh, do you want to buy me some shorts with a better liner? No? Then shut it!