‘OK, That’s Pretty Cute,’ Local Runner Thinks Just Before Impact
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A local runner is in stable condition this morning after being struck by a car driven by a Jack Russell Terrier, Dumb Runner has learned, lending an otherwise horrifying experience a bit of levity.
Vic Trenton, 56, was running on the shoulder of Bernard Road around 7 a.m. when the accident occurred.
“It’s a route I’ve run a thousand times,” Trenton said in a phone interview from his hospital bed. “There’s a nice, wide shoulder, and I was facing traffic, as I always do. And then suddenly, I hear this car behind me, engine roaring, going like 100 mph.”
The dog had been driving erratically for at least three miles before striking Trenton, witnesses told police, and swerved across a double yellow line in the moments before impact.
“He was all over the place,” according to a cyclist who watched the events unfold. “He barked like crazy and honked his horn, but it was too late.”
By the time he turned and saw the car, Trenton said, he didn’t have time to react—except to notice that the driver was a dog and to think to himself that, despite everything, this was “pretty cute.”
“I mean, it’s a dog driving a car,” said Trenton. “Even a guy about to be crushed by a speeding car has to admit that’s adorable.”
“Did I mention he was wearing sunglasses? Because he was. Just like a person!”
It is unclear who the car belongs to, how the dog managed to gain access to it, or what workaround the dog employed to reach the vehicle’s gas and brake pedals. Rumors that he had an equally cute accomplice down there could not be confirmed.
Police are still searching for the dog.
