Runner Whizzing in Middle of Nowhere Apparently Afraid Someone Might See Penis

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A runner who paused to urinate on a remote trail chose to do so mere inches from a large, bushy tree, an apparent act of modesty that onlookers would find baffling, if there were onlookers, which there were not, hence the theoretical bafflement.

The unidentified man was about 7.5 miles into his solo run when he felt the urge to pee, Dumb Runner has learned. Slowing to a jog and then a walk, he scanned his surroundings and approached the tree in question, a thick evergreen just steps from the trail.

Looking around and seeing nobody in sight, he then leaned in close to the tree before pulling down the front of his shorts and relieving himself. In the moments that followed, the man looked anxiously to his left and right.

The sound of his urine hitting the tree's trunk was the only sound to be heard, given the man's total isolation from other human activity.

It is unclear why the man felt the need to stand so close to the tree.

Dumb Runner could not verify reports that the man in question also wears a bathing suit when showering at his gym.